


if it's wrong or if it's right, i am beside you

by danverspotsticker



Series: time travel verse [1]
Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer (TV)
Genre: F/F, F/M, Jenny Calendar Day 2020, Major Character Undeath, Time Travel, canon season two up to bewitched bothered and bewildered, one explained and one semi-explained but the real reason is i'm gay and i said so, one lesbian idiot and her emotional support bi teacher, this is just me wanting to write about, two major character undeaths
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-23
Updated: 2020-06-07
Packaged: 2021-03-02 23:01:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 25,362
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24340987
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/danverspotsticker/pseuds/danverspotsticker
Summary: in the year 1998, jenny calendar has been cast out of the scoobies for, admittedly, though validly, being an idiot. a stranger claiming to be from the future comes in search of help from her and giles alike and despite all logic she has know previously, jenny trusts her. while on her mission, the stranger from the future isn't so strange at all. and, really, jenny is too observant to let it slide.
Relationships: Cordelia Chase/Xander Harris (past), Daniel "Oz" Osbourne/Willow Rosenberg (past), Jenny Calendar & Willow Rosenberg, Jenny Calendar/Rupert Giles, Rupert Giles & Willow Rosenberg, Tara Maclay/Willow Rosenberg, Willow Rosenberg & Buffy Summers, Xander Harris & Willow Rosenberg
Series: time travel verse [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1790074
Comments: 45
Kudos: 50





	1. willow rosenberg is terrible at keeping secrets

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for checking out my fic, to be real with you, i'm gay and unmotivated and I have no idea when I will update this but i want to and it's my favourite thing to write so hopefully soon ! also, coherent transitions and endings? never heard of her
> 
> alternate title: willow is a lesbian and sometimes that means time travelling to save the teacher you were over-attached to in high school

The day Jenny and Giles meet the stranger is a Wednesday, Jenny is staying late in her classroom working on piecing together the translation for the curse that will give Angel his soul back. Unbeknownst to her, Giles is also staying late in the library researching werewolves at the request of Willow and Oz who have been concerned about what it might actually mean that Oz is a werewolf. 

Jenny is focusing on the translation, and focusing harder on not thinking about Giles when there is a flash of light in the corner of the room. Her first reaction is fear, but the energy of the room remains familiar, even the magic that clearly caused the flash smells warm, if not uncomfortably jarring. When she spots the cause of it, she is left unremarked because, well, the person in her classroom is unremarkable. She is certainly a human, or at least a demon with a human body, and she has all the features that people have. But what is striking in its blandness is that the woman is not striking at all. She is certainly there, but she would be easy to ignore, easy to walk past in a crowded hall without taking notice of her at all. Certainly she’s not invisible, but she is not noticeable either.

While Jenny has taken stock of the new being in front of her, the stranger looks at her blankly, though a soft and unheard gasp falls from her lips. “Huh.”

The stranger gives Jenny a small and uncomfortable wave, “Uh, hi. So, before you run screaming out of the room or call Bu-the slayer: I’m not gonna hurt you.”

And though Jenny can tell through the magic that is still buzzing through the room - the woman in front of her is clearly powerful - that she is not in danger, she still feels uneasy. “No offence or anything, but why should I trust you?”

The stranger offers an oddly familiar stiff smile, “You probably shouldn’t?”

At the alarmed look on Jenny’s face, the stranger corrects herself, flailing her hands forward as if to stop Jenny’s thoughts. “Oh! That is not what I meant. Absolutely with the non-threatening here, just that, logically, you don’t know me and I did just teleport in here. So, untrustingness is an understandable concept.”

At the tilt of Jenny’s head the stranger pauses her babbling, “Right. Point is: I need your help and I don’t have much more that I can say that doesn’t put you in danger but I need you to trust me even though I’m untrustworthy.”

And Jenny knows she shouldn’t. Knows that she is on a Hellmouth and absolutely should not trust the mystically powerful stranger standing in front of her. Knows that she has more important things to focus on than trusting a stranger (i.e. a translation spell and a stuffy librarian). But still, when the stranger offers her that still-familiar smile and shrugs in a self deprecating way, Jenny says, “Okay.”

In response the stranger offers a small hop, “Great!”

Jenny only raises an eyebrow as the stranger offers nothing else.

The stranger takes a moment before she staggers to realization, “Oh, sorry! If you could point me to the library?”

Jenny cringes, internally… mostly. “Um, it’s just down the hall, there’s double doors.”

The stranger smiles playfully, her tongue peaking out from between her teeth, “I get that you and, the, uh, librarian have your lover’s quarrel going on, but this is a matter of life and death.”

Suspiciously, Jenny backtracks, “How do you know about me and Rupert?”

The stranger makes a face at the name, “You're a technopagan and you didn’t clock my magic? I can read your aura and your hesitance is all romantically-stunted-like.”

This satisfies Jenny, though it isn’t the truth. Standing from behind her desk, Jenny beckons the stranger to follow her as she walks into the hallway, excited at interaction with Giles and horrified by the explanation she’s going to have to give Giles as to why she trusts a stranger who has given her no reason to. 

Jenny offers the stranger a warning, “Just, in advance, Rupert does have a tendency to be about as hard headed as possible.”

The stranger hums brokenly, trying to contain a laugh. “Probably good considering all the head injuries.”

Jenny looks over her shoulder, confused. 

The stranger backpedaling, “He’s a Watcher right? Their deaths are mostly head injuries, if vampires didn’t exist they’d be the leading cause of Watcher deaths worldwide.”

Jenny looks amused at the information, “Interesting studies you have access too.”

The stranger holds back a laugh at a joke Jenny does not yet understand, “I’ve got a lot of time on my hands.”

  
  


With no response to give, Jenny keeps walking. Behind her, unseen, the stranger is looking wide eyed around the building. Occasionally her eyes settle on the woman in front of her and before any reaction can cross her face her eyes jump somewhere else. Towards the lockers or at the floor or forward towards the library that she knows is waiting at the end of this short venture. Haunting her with the pressure it and it’s occupants will add to this mission she has undertaken. 

Eventually they reach the doors and the stranger peers through the small circular window to spot Giles, frustratedly rubbing his eyes with his glasses grasped in one hand. From her place beside her, Jenny attempts her escape, “Well, there’s Rupert, he’s the librarian, so I’m going to be going now…”

The stranger laughs, “Funny. But unfortunately for you I need both of your help so none of the avoidy.”

Jenny scrunches her face in retaliation, “Has anyone ever told you you speak strangely?”

A humour filled smile spreads across the stranger’s face, “Yeah, many people in fact.”

Jenny looks interested at the comment and before she is given time to think about it, the stranger is pushing the library doors open and thrusting her into an experience she absolutely does not want to be having. But she is, so once they’re both in the library she calls out, “Rupert?”

From his place at the table he startles at the interruption to his distracted thoughts. When he looks up he sees the very object of them. Along with an unremarkable woman. Nothing about her clarifies anything, there is no clarity as he tries to determine her age or race. Every time he tries to focus he immediately has to refocus on her. An anonymity glamour, he realizes.

“J - Ms. Calendar. Wh-what brings you here?” Placing his glasses back on his face, he stands to greet the women.

“Oh, um…” Jenny shrugs towards the stranger as if to complete her sentence.

From beside Jenny, the stranger waves awkwardly, “Um, hey.”

As Giles scrutinizes the stranger Jenny interrupts his thoughts, “She needs our help.”

At Giles’ unsure look, Jenny adds, “She seems trustworthy, so maybe you can rally the forces?”

He furrows his brow, “Who, exactly, is it that  _ she  _ seems to be?”

Jenny shifts on her feet, uncomfortable. “I don’t know.”

Giles scoffs, “You expect me to put my - my, my slayer, at risk because you trust a strange woman who is clearly maintaining a strong glamour. And after what happened the last time I trusted you?”

Stepping forward, the stranger pushes out her hands to interrupt. “Woah, hey. I’m the stranger here, no need to get all grumbly with Ms. Calendar.”

At Giles’ still-furrowed brow the stranger continues, “I can’t tell you who I am and the glamour is present because of that. I can tell you I’m from the future and I’m here because I need your help with a, uh, with researching a demon. I’m not here to hurt  _ your _ slayer, in fact I’m trying to help a slayer from my time.”

“Time travel?” Giles says appalled, “You expect me to believe…”

Jenny cuts him off, “It’s rapidly becoming more likely. Especially with the increasing intersection of magic and technology. It’s one of the things my colleagues most converse about. It could change how magic as a system of scientific discovery works…”

Her excitement is paused by the stranger’s laughter, when Jenny turns her body towards her it suddenly stops. “Sorry, just, yeah. That’s pretty much exactly how I sounded before I took this trip back to the ol’ Mouth of Hell.”

Giles tilts his head suspiciously, “You know this is the Hellmouth?”

The stranger nods, “Well, one of them, but yes. I know everything that your diaries have written in them.”

“Woah, Rupert, you keep diaries?” Jenny asks in a laughter ridden voice.

And though he tries to hide it, his face betrays his fondness as he smiles. “They’re Watcher’s diaries, it’s part of my duties.”

From her spot outside of their interaction, the stranger looks on. Watching as Jenny and Giles both struggle not to make their flirting obvious to every single person on earth, she smiles happily. Watching the way that Giles’ eyes shine brightly as he bites his tongue as Jenny makes fun of his ‘secret Adult Man diaries’, she knows that her decision to come back now and change this reality was the right one. Pausing in her sureness, in her confidence that this is the only decision she could possibly make with the knowledge she has, she steps back into the conversation. “Okay, so, ready for some research?”

*

Jenny ends up leaving pretty soon after that. She considers inviting the stranger along but the last strands of logic floating around in her brain decide against offering that. So she leaves the library with some books and a few emails of people who seem worth contacting. She leaves the stranger alone with Giles and hopes that when she gets back the next day he won’t have threatened her or something equally stupid.

Left in the library, Giles has secluded himself to his office, reading through some of his more important texts while the stranger sits at the table most frequently occupied by Buffy and her scoobies. It has gotten later and ever since Jenny left, the stranger has seemed content with the silence of the dim library. For someone who he could not recall one single feature of, the woman seemed quite familiar, though her glamour would not allow him to focus too long on what exactly it was that seemed familiar. Through his contemplation and research, eventually, sleep overtook him and the library was left silent for the rest of the night as the stranger quickly followed in his footsteps.

When Giles wakes up he is immediately filled with dread at his own callousness. How  _ stupid _ of him to fall asleep with a wildly powerful stranger within easy access to all of his most important texts. Cautiously, he pulls a sword from next to the doorway and grips it in his hand as he walks towards the table in the centre of the room. As the stranger’s head comes into view from behind the computer monitor he realizes that she has also fallen asleep, her head resting on the book she must have been researching. 

Lightly he sets his sword onto the table, careful not to disturb her, though the light streaming through the windows hints to him that relatively soon students bustling through the halls will call her awake. He studies her, desperate to focus on any one thing, especially as, to his concern, his familiarity turns to fondness the longer he tries to understand what exactly his eyes are seeing. He knows most anonymity spells end when the subject is touched by the caster, and he imagines that this stranger likely has her reasons. But between his own curiosity and the threat she poses if any of what both he and Jenny have trusted as truth is actually a lie, he allows himself to reach out a hand to jostle her awake, an excuse about it being morning already in his back pocket if whoever the stranger actually is becomes defensive. 

Just as he is about to touch nondescript hair, the double doors of the library burst open and he hears the chatter of four seemingly always excited teenagers and an Oz. Ever leading the scoobies, Buffy’s voice rings out, “Hey Giles!”

Turning quickly as he retracts his hand he stammers through his reply, “Oh, good morning, Buffy.”

Giles hears movement from behind him and watches as the teenagers’ eyes lock on the stranger. Cordelia is the first one that speaks up, “Um, who’s that?”

Giles turns slightly to look at the stranger, “That would seem to be the question.”

The stranger offers a wave and Xander tilts his head. Giles starts to continue but the stranger cuts him off, “I can’t exactly tell you who I am but I’m here because I need help to help a slayer.”

Oz furrows his brow, “I thought Buffy was the slayer?”

Xander is still looking at the stranger, trying to decipher anything about her. From beside him, Willow corrects Oz. “Oh! There’s another slayer - Kendra, from that time Buffy died.” She shifts so that she’s facing the stranger, “Are you her Watcher?”

Quietly, Oz repeats, “Died?”

The stranger skips past his question to reply to Willow’s, “I’m not Kendra’s watcher, and I’m here to help a different slayer.”

Buffy’s eyes grow wide, “Did Kendra die? Because we’re both slayers and, really, I think that’s the kind of thing that I would feel happen.”

The stranger smiles at Buffy and softly says, “No, Kendra’s not dead.”

Cordelia, annoyed, cuts in. “Can we skip this Q and A? Why do you need Giles help? I mean, no offense, but if you’re part of this whole Council thing shouldn’t you have better resources than a high school library?”

Giles nods his agreement, “Yes, so, um.” He struggles to address the stranger without sounding overly dramatic. “ _ She _ is from the future and has arrived here because she has read my Watcher’s diaries and determined that Ms. Calendar and I can help with her current predicament.”

Between various inquiries about time travel and diaries and Ms. Calendar, Xander slips over to the garbage bin near the book desk and proceeds to vomit into it. The sound drawing their attention, all the occupants of the room turn to him. His pale face looks up from the bin, “Oh, um, sorry about that. Must’ve had the wrong leftover pizza this morning.” 

Cordelia, concerned, kneels next to him and places her hand on his forehead. “It doesn’t feel like food poisoning.”

The stranger steps closer to Xander, “That might actually be my fault. The glamour I’ve cast can have adverse effects on people when they try too hard to figure out who I am.”

Xander nods, seemingly recovering, “Nice, definitely will not keep doing that. Not a fan, maybe make the fine print a little larger next time.”

The stranger nods, “I’m sorry, Xan-der.”

Xander looks at her, searching again, “Who…” Before he doubles back to the can, retching again.

Giles rolls his eyes, “Dear God, Xander. Have you not listened a day in your life?”

Still pale, Xander shrugs. From his place on the other side of the room, his arm wrapped around a greening Willow, Oz speaks, “So, I think we’re gonna head out, a little too much vomit before 9:00 AM for my tastes.” 

Willow nods her agreement and they leave. Buffy looks after them wistfully, like she wishes she could join them. “Hey, Xander. Do you think you’re gonna ralph again? Because if yes I think I’ll make like the gingers.”

Xander offers a weak smile, “No, no. I think at seventeen I’ve finally matured enough to make the active decision to grow a brain.”

The stranger stifles a laugh and Cordelia shoots daggers at her. “Listen, lady. I don’t know who you are or even really what you look like but if you think you can come for  _ my  _ boyfriend…”

The stranger cuts her off, a pained smile on her face. “Woah, Cordy. First of all, gross. Second of all, I am much too old for that.”

No one catches her slip and Cordelia scoffs, “I don’t see how I was supposed to know that since if I try to figure out how old you are I would literally throw up.” Pausing, her eyebrows knit together, “And don’t “ew” my boyfriend!”

Xander places a hand on Cordelia’s arm as Buffy rolls her eyes at both of them, “Babe, while I appreciate the support since the whole love spell gone wrong, maybe calm down around the stranger who can make us vomit just by looking at her.”

Tired of the antics, Giles adds sternly, “Yes, please calm down and possibly work on attending the classes that the two of you come to this school for you.”

Ever-Xander, he speaks, “Ah, that’s where you’re wrong, wise English man, I come to school for the jello in the cafeteria and these lectures from you.”

Buffy laughs quietly at Xander. At Giles’ withering glare, Xander stands to walk away, pulling Cordelia with him, “We’ll be leaving now.”

Rolling his eyes, albeit fondly, Giles turns to Buffy, “How was patrol yesterday?”

She shrugs, “The usual, y’know, another drama kid turned vamp who decided to call himself Lestat, another jacket covered in dust.”

Giles nods, “Ah, yes.” 

Cautiously he adds, “Any sign of Angel?”

Arms wrapped around her torso, Buffy replies, “No.”

Giles watches as she shuffles, uncomfortably twisting her hands into the straps of her backpack. “Okay, well, you’ll be sure to let me know if you do?”

As she starts to leave the room, Buffy offers him a somber thumbs up, “Absolutely.”

The stranger watches as Giles stares after her for a moment and though she knows she probably shouldn’t, she says, “She’ll be okay.”

Eyebrows knitted, Giles turns appalled, “ _ What _ ?”

The stranger, a little more unsure but already digging a hole, repeats, “The whole Angelus thing - she’ll be okay.”

Fist clenching at his sides, Giles glares at the stranger, “ _ I have made the active decision to trust every rapidly false seeming word from your mouth _ . _ And I have done that out of some failure of my logic _ . But  _ I will not have you jeopardize the world as we know it here. _ ”

Though startled by his stern voice, the stranger is unaffected by his glare. “I’m not putting your world at risk. The time travel that books and movies and even scientists have spoken of isn’t how it actually works. The universe does not want to be altered and the almanac of demons and gods don’t want it to be altered either. So when someone travels back, another universe is formed. You don’t need to worry about  _ your _ world being jeopardized because, essentially, in this universe it was always intended that I arrive.”

Still frustrated, Giles only hums in recognition of the stranger’s words.

The stranger looks at her feet, “I’m sorry. I’m not trying to be difficult. I just, I’m here for a reason and that’s to help my slayer. But if I can help you and your slayer, or maybe just ease your mind a little while a homicidal ex-good guy is running around your town doing goddess knows what, I want to.”

Giles sighs, “That makes sense but maybe limit your, um,  _ help _ , to when it’s requested.”

The stranger smiles softly, “Fair enough.”

As Giles gestures for the stranger to follow him to the table, he sits. “So, you’re from the future?”

The stranger raises her eyebrows, “We’ve established that fact, yes.”

Giles looks confused at her, “And your presence here isn’t technically impacting the world?”

The stranger nods, “Yep.”

Still confused, “Does it change your world? Or are you from this same universe and it’s a cycle?”

The stranger tilts her head, “Not exactly. The world I’m from  _ is  _ this one, just without the me time travelling. I’ll go back to the future with the knowledge I gain here. The things that I tell you or change will make this universe different and then it will no longer be the universe I’m from.”

Giles takes his glasses off, cleaning them on his handkerchief. “I’m sorry?”

The stranger laughs, “Pretty much it’s just a giant headache if you think about it too much.”

Giles softly laughs along, trying to ignore how easy it is to be fond of someone who he should definitely consider a threat. “Fantastic.”

*

Later, the stranger sits at one of the computers, going insane because of how freaking slow it is. Across from her, failing to focus on her history readings and failing to focus on the stranger without getting at least a little queasy, Buffy is twirling a pencil between her fingers. Feeling eyes on her, without turning her glare at the computer anywhere else, the stranger speaks, “Stop trying to figure out what I look like.”

Caught, Buffy looks away. “Oh, I wasn’t…”

The stranger raises an eyebrow, “Mhmm. That history homework looks important, maybe try figuring that out instead.”

Buffy looks down at the reading that seems miles too long. “It’s not that important. It’s only one class. Plus, when am I ever going to need to know stuff about the founding of the country.” Looking to the side she mutters, “It’s not like I could probably do it anyway.”

The stranger catches her mutterings and looks at Buffy from above the monitor, “ _ Hey _ , just because you do not have the time and resources to study and learn in class that other students do, does not mean that you are less intelligent than any of them. If you weren’t saving the world during classes and fighting Snyder in between them, I’m sure you’d be at the top of your classes.”

Buffy brightens slightly at the compliment as she attempts to focus again on her homework. She rolls the eraser of her pencil along the margins of her textbook as she tries desperately to take in any single fact about whatever the hell Manifest Destiny is. The stranger starts impatiently tapping the edges of the keyboard as she waits for results to load on the computer. Distracted again, Buffy speaks, “What’s yours like?”

Caught off guard, the stranger looks back up at Buffy, “Sorry?”

Almost embarrassed, Buffy doesn’t meet the stranger’s frustrating eyes, “Your slayer. I mean you’re a watcher right? You’ve got that whole concerned about your slayer thing going on, plus you called her  _ your _ slayer.”

The stranger smiles, “I’m not exactly a Watcher. After the council realized that maybe teenage girls should be allowed to have friends and family and more support than a strange and middle-aged British man, there’s more than the roles of Watcher and Slayer in the battle against the supernatural.”

Buffy nods, “So, what, you’re like a civilian helping out, or something?”

The stranger laughs, “I don’t know if you caught the whole _time_ _travel_ thing but I’m a little more than a civilian. Most of our, sorry, most slayers have a witch or sorcerer of some kind who works with them.”

Buffy’s eyes light up, “Cool! Do I get one?”

The stranger laughs fondly, “Yeah, Buff - y, you’ll have a witch helping you out eventually.”

Buffy looks more excited, “Really?!”

The stranger brightens along with her, “I don’t know if you’ve caught onto this yet, but you’re kind of the first slayer who has friends helping her out. You, along with your, uh, Scoobies kind of set up the road map for how every other slayer ends up being successful.”

Buffy’s eyes widen, “But I died and everything, I can’t be that successful.”

Softly, the stranger replies, “Of course you can.”

Buffy beams at her, from behind her Giles pokes out of his office door, “You better not be telling her things about her future.”

Looking back to him, Buffy continues to smile, “I’m the road map!”

Confused but reciprocating Buffy’s smile, Giles looks at the stranger, “I do hope that has nothing to do with the future.”

Offering him a playful smirk, the stranger says, “Of course not.”

Looking at the equally conniving smiles on both of their faces, Giles is stricken once again with familiarity. For a moment he tries to focus on the stranger’s face before he is hit with nausea, “Gods, I’ll be back.” 

The stranger cringes, “Sorry!”

Buffy looks at her, “Why does your spell do that?”

The stranger offers a grimace, “It was either the whole vomit thing or burning eyes, and I figured vomit was a better and less permanent deterrent.”

Buffy looks startled by the revelation, “Oh.”

The stranger nods, “Yeah.”

*

The stranger eventually leaves the library, avoiding being left with Xander and Willow as their free period immediately follows Buffy’s. She’d rather not have to keep watching Xander fail to listen to her recommendation to stop trying to figure out what she looks like. So, she heads down the hall to the computer lab she remembers is empty during this period. From the doorway she spots a familiar brunette. “Ms. Calendar.”

Looking up, Jenny expects a certain student but is shocked for a moment when she spots the stranger. Though before she can focus on what student she was expecting, the thought has escaped her grasp. “Hey, person from the future who I have no way to address.”

The stranger laughs, “Sorry about that.”

Ms. Calendar shrugs, “Not exactly a problem for me. Might be for you, names are important.”

The stranger smirks, “You’d know.”

Surprised at the stranger’s knowledge, Jenny becomes defensive before she recalls, “Oh, Rupert’s diaries.”

The stranger tilts her head before quickly confirming, “Oh, yes.”

“Speaking of names, you can call me Jenny. I mean I can’t really actually tell but you’re probably an adult and you call Rupert, Giles. So, some casualty is welcome.” As she speaks, Jenny gestures for the stranger to fully come into the room.

Leaning against a student’s desk in front of Jenny’s the stranger defends herself, “Well, yea. I was just going for the more respectful thing.”

Jenny raises her eyebrows, “And you didn’t do that for Rupert?”

The stranger shrugs, “He’s Giles. Mr. Giles sounds wrong, and Rupert sounds wronger.”

Jenny laughs as the stranger shudders at the thought, “You know us better than through his journals, don’t you?”

Awkwardly smiling, the stranger says, “You caught that, didja?”

Jenny stares the stranger down. The stranger looks back, “I’m still not going to tell you who I am.”

Jenny smirks, “And if I guess?”

The stranger shakes her head slowly, “Sure.”

Jenny smiles at the stranger in front of her, “Okay, Willow.”

And as quickly as she says it, Jenny doubles over as her world flashes bright white and her ears are filled with high pitched wailing. From across from her, a now distinguishably redheaded woman stands in front of her, her green eyes wide with panic. Doubled over, Jenny groans, “What the hell?”

Panicked, a now clearly familiar voice says, “Sorry, I didn’t think you’d guess right?!”

As Jenny continues to groan, Willow mumbles a latin phrase that Jenny can’t distinguish through the wailing. As quickly as it came, the white and noise of the world is gone and there’s just a familiar, if not older, woman standing in front of her.

Jenny offers her a still pained smile. “Well, hey. It’s nice to know you make it out of high school.”

The redhead just stares back exasperatedly. 

  
  



	2. jenny calendar is a bad liar

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ahaha this chapter features Jenny Calendar being a bi icon because i said so and willow rosenberg being a calendiles shipper (also u can follow me on tumblr if ur inch rested at dykexanderharris)

Willow is looking at Jenny. Except this is a different Willow. And Jenny knew it, _she knew it_ . As much as it hurt her head and churned her stomach, every time an abnormal phrase came out of her mouth Jenny clocked exactly how _Willow_ it was for her to say those things. Jenny isn’t going to kid anyone, she can occasionally be a significant idiot, but she is definitely smart enough to recognize the Scooby vernacular that the redhead who - until a few weeks ago - occupied her classroom for hours at a time constantly spouts. 

Willow is still staring wide-eyed at Jenny. Willow knows she’s not fooling anyone (figuratively at least), she knows that she's terrible at keeping secrets. But it hasn’t even been a full 24 hours and Ms. Calendar has already figured out who she is despite the glamour that she had spent literal years perfecting. Running a hand through her hair, she sighs. As her eyes close under the hand that comes to rest on her forehead, she remains silent, her mind speeding at miles a second trying to determine how the heck she’s supposed to deal with this situation.

Jenny watches the gears turning in Willow's head and decides to interrupt her thoughts in case this Willow is as panic prone as her Willow is. “Willow, it’s okay.”

Willow nods rapidly, “Yes, of course. It’s okay, we’re doing great. It’s just been 24 hours and already my glamour is messed up and it’s fantastic, I only worked on that for several years. It’s okay! I basically came back here for no freakin' reason now if everyone knows who I am and…”

Jenny cuts her off, “Hey!”

And though the Willow in front of her isn’t the gangly teen she knows and her hair is shorter and she’s clearly been facing life and death for years, the eyes that look up at her are the same scared ones she sees every time a new supernatural threat comes on the scene. With Willow’s panic now silenced, Jenny pulls out her best Put Together Adult voice on when she says, “ _It’s okay._ ” 

Willow believes her. “Okay...” Nodding to herself she repeats, “Okay!”

Jenny offers her an encouraging smile. Willow smiles back, “So, you can’t tell anyone else who I am. Especially not me. Well, younger me me, not now me, obviously.” 

Jenny tilts her head inquisitively, “Your glamour is still in effect? But the headache and nausea isn’t happening anymore.”

Willow shakes her head, “No, _your_ glamour is broken, everyone else’s are still in place.”

Jenny steps forward as she says, “My glamour? You have a separate spell on each of us? Willow, that takes massive amounts of -”

“Power? Yeah, I actually caught that between casting the spells and maintaining them.” Pausing, she shakes her head apologetically, “Sorry, but yeah. It takes stupid amounts of power but it was also the only way to make sure if this happened,” She points between the two of them, “That it doesn’t pretty much ruin the mission.”

Jenny hums. “The mission? You’re just here for info on a demon, aren’t you?”

Willow quickly nods, “Yeah, of course. Just, we don’t have all the references that exist in the school library anymore.”

Jenny’s eyebrows furrow, “Then why not just show yourself to Giles and then leave with the info you need.”

Willow smirks, “Yes, because clearly finding out who I am does not invoke significant questioning. If you have this many questions how many do you think Giles would have?”

Jenny shrugs, “It just seems like you’re taking a lot on the fact that Giles would trust a mystical stranger.”

Willow smiles, “Of course he would trust me - you asked him to.”

Jenny looks down, blushing. “So we work that out, huh?”

Willow’s smile shifts but Jenny can’t identify with what, “I can’t tell you that.”

Jenny sighs, understanding, “Okay.”

Shifting in her seat, she asks, “So, what, you just hang around until you get all the info you need to fight this demon?”

Willow’s smile widens playfully, “Pretty much.”

*

And so, Jenny keeps it to herself. She doesn’t go running to Giles about the fact that the girl who freaks out over just about everything has somehow grown up enough to freaking time travel. Which, really, Jenny thinks she should get an award for because she comprehends that people grow up, she recalls her own teenage years and her punk aesthetic that came and went with them but she has held off from screaming about adult Willow from the rooftops. Willow Rosenberg has gone from lovable spaz to a talented adult who also happens to have a pair of rings on her left finger and Jenny is only human and wants to talk to someone about it. 

But she doesn’t. And not talking to people about it means lying about it. At least in Jenny’s books. It’s fine though, because she can settle to just being a witness to something she never thought she’d get to see. _Time travel_ . She guesses being Giles’ _something_ for some time has its perks. Plus, she doesn’t have to sit in frustration with everyone else in the library as they try desperately not to figure out anything to avoid stomach turning dizziness. She also doesn’t have to grow more frustrated with the fact that she _can’t_ figure anything out. She knows that Giles is very frustrated with that fact. Enough that he’s even gotten snippy with Buffy. Despite the frequency with which he has been reacting stiffly to her, Jenny is still shocked when Giles grows almost aggressive in his interaction with Buffy when she was literally just being a teenage girl.

It’s not that Jenny doesn’t realize that in terms of sticks, she grabbed a long one. But in comparison to a normal sample size of sticks, hers would still look small. So, she’s very glad the vertigo isn’t a presence anymore, and she’s glad that she’s aware that it’s Willow. But there’s some shortness of sticks in the fact that she can’t speak to anyone about it, especially since Willow manages to avoid any chance to be alone together.

So, Jenny gets to take over a role that Giles has had for the past months that she’s known him. She gets to watch. Watches as Willow interacts with people who, at least in the time Jenny has known them, are her family. And with watching her, Jenny gets to know this version of her. Jenny gets to know that the reason that Xander is the only one who pretty much vomits as soon as he looks at Willow is because he’s known her forever and could probably recognize any Willow in the dark while blind. Every time that Willow the older says a particular Willow Coined Phrase or pokes her tongue between her teeth when she laughs or trips over the stream of words coming out of her mouth, Xander is kneeling over what has become his designated garbage can. Sometimes she wonders how he of all people hasn’t figured it out, but she figures with the contrast of the Willow he knows who is shy and still blushes when she talks to him and the one who is confident enough in herself to time travel and place a glamour on at least seven people at once is pretty extreme. 

Jenny is lucky enough to recognize Willow’s confidence in both versions of her. She’s Willow’s computer science teacher and computers are one of the only areas where Willow never pauses in her stream of sentences describing her understanding of it. She watches the Willow from the future talk to Giles with confidence about pretty much everything the two of them discuss. Jenny knows she has basically nothing to do with it but she is very proud of the Willow she sees, especially when Giles pronounces a demon name incorrectly and she corrects him. The snicker Jenny lets out in response is definitely worth the glare Giles shoots her. 

Despite her pride, she does notice the way that Willow mirrors Giles as they speak. Not just in a similar knowledge way but the way that Willow’s eyes have the same fatigue in them and the way this Willow holds a hand over her eyes almost at the exact same time that Rupert cleans his glasses or the way that she literally hears this Willow whisper ‘dear lord’ under her breath. Jenny thinks it might be sarcastic, but it still sends her spiraling, not for the first time, down a list of different things which might affect who in the room around her is alive. 

In the short time that Jenny got to know Rupert the way that she wants to, the way that crept its way in until she just understood his reactions without needing to think about them, she learned where most of the ache that keeps him permanently tired comes from. So, when Jenny sees the darkness in Willow’s eyes that she knows grew in Giles’ from years of dying friends and pressure to be too much for too many people and a bleakened view of the difference between good and evil, to say she is concerned would likely be an understatement. And it makes her start thinking about why exactly it’s there. 

She figures that with Buffy it could go either way, she could be the most likely to die or least likely. She’s a slayer with super powers, including super healing so she’s less likely to die from injuries or natural-ish things. But she’s also a slayer who is on the front lines battling evil on the Hellmouth. And future Willow’s interactions with Buffy are definitely different than those of now Willow and Buffy, but that could just be from growing up. 

Jenny considers that Cordelia might be the most likely to die from a random vampire attack because while she is feisty, she is the newest without supernatural abilities. Jenny also knows that Cordelia and Willow aren’t that close. But Jenny, who had dated her own high school Cordelia for the last year of high school, is very aware of how things change. And it’s not like Willow Rosenberg is not at the very top of Jenny’s Completely Inappropriate list of students who will probably come out once they get the hell out of Sunnydale High School, but she figures even if she is right, Cordelia isn’t the girl that would help Willow figure that out. Especially with the Xander of the situation. Plus, Willow from the future rarely interacts with Cordelia. When she does it’s definitely friendlier than the interactions they usually have in this library but that’s all. 

She doesn’t want to put her and Giles at the top of the list behind Cordelia. But she does because she’s just a technopagan who is on the outskirts of the Scoobies when there isn’t a secret Willow asking for her help. And Giles, though slightly magically talented, is a human, albeit trained in fighting. And Willow gravitates to both of them in any group conversation, but Jenny also knows that might just be because they’re the adults here, not because they’re missing from her life when she’s from. 

Jenny figures she’s a little more likely to be dead than Giles is. Not just because she’s not a trained fighter but because Willow, aside from a very minor immediate freakout, seems relatively unconcerned about Jenny finding out about the future. Which, to Jenny, seems to imply that her knowledge of a future wouldn’t impact it, which would mean she’s not in it. And she tries to be fine with that but she is also a person who doesn’t want to die anytime soon. Plus she has a lot of shit she plans on doing, not limited to getting Giles (r.e. Buffy) to forgive her and making up for the stupid thing she did by giving Angel his soul back and growing old enough that she can rock a gray streak and hundreds of other things. So, instead of actually being fine with dying she just doesn’t really think about it at all.

She knows Willow isn’t on the list of might-be-dead since she’s kind of _right there_. But from the fact that Willow is interacting with Xander in basically only teasing ways with nothing except fondness on her face, Jenny is almost 100% sure that Xander is also alive in the future. Which Jenny is oddly elated about, considering the frequency with which she has to restrain herself from yelling at him about slutshaming the girls he claims are his best friends (and girlfriend). 

For Jenny, the real challenge is Oz. Because a dead boyfriend would certainly explain some of Willow’s seeming darkness. But Willow from the future doesn’t seem especially grief stricken around him. There’s certainly something there but it could be as simple as the awkwardness that comes with interacting with Oz at any given time. Or the inherent awkwardness of interacting with someone you once loved but no longer interact with. There’s also the rings on Willow’s finger and maybe she’s just trying not to reveal herself to someone that might be her future husband. So, Jenny is still stuck with the knowledge she had before she started freaking about how sometimes people die.

She’s just trying to find things to focus on that aren’t lying. She’s lied enough, she just wants to help now. But somehow, helping has turned into lying for a Willow who isn’t exactly the one she knows. But she’ll do it anyway, even though all she wants to do is help. Which is why when all the Scoobies head home except her, Adult Willow and Giles, she heads back to her classroom. She has a translation to finish, and though this whole time travel thing has been interesting and consuming and important, there’s still a psychopathic vampire out there trying to turn Buffy into the next Drusilla.

So, Jenny has work to do.

*

Still in the library, Willow is left with an unknowing Giles. She continues scrolling through results and sorting through pages and pretending that she can’t find a single thing about a demon that does not exist. She plays with the buttons of the keyboard, trying to stay awake through her boredom. Giles interrupts her futile battle as he walks up to her with a question, “The glamour that you cast, the nausea is a constant side effect?”

Confused by the question’s relevance but trusting Giles, Willow answers, “It gives people vertigo when they get too close to figuring me out or when they look too long.”

Giles adjusts his glasses, his face scrunching inquisitive. “Yet with Xander it continues to happen almost immediately?”

Willow nods, understanding. “Well, the spell doesn’t cause the viewer to throw up, it gives them vertigo. But if that person continues to look or, like Xander, is predisposed to things like motion sickness, they’ll get sick.”

Giles hums and takes an intellectual leap forward that Willow doesn’t follow. “So, you know us in the future, further than what I write in my journals.”

Her eyes widening at the very true accusation, Willow denies it. Poorly. “What? No, I’ve only read your journals.”

Giles smirks disbelievingly. “Certainly. I can picture now the importance I placed on Xander Harris’ predisposition to motion sickness.”

Willow sighs, “Okay, yeah. I know you in the future.” 

Giles pumps his fist at his side. “I knew it.”

Willow is unimpressed. “Why is it so important that you know that?”

Giles stumbles through his thoughts for a moment. “Well… now I know with certainty that you’ve been lying.”

Willow smiles knowingly. “Do you? Because I think all you know with certainty is that I know you and Xander in the future.”

Giles mutters for a moment before gathering his thoughts. “Do you insist on being as difficult as possible? If your being here doesn’t actually affect your future then why is it so important that you hide your identity?”

Willow sighs. “It doesn’t affect my future. But it does affect yours and anyone else who sees me. Because if I’m someone you already know, then it might change how you act around that person and if I’m not someone you know yet, you might act differently when you meet me. And I like my life and I think other versions of me changed by my coming here would also enjoy aspects of the life I have. So, I’m sorry if me ensuring that I keep pieces of my life intact is difficult for you, but you’re going to have to deal with me not telling you who I am.”

Giles raises his eyebrows. “Been holding that in long?”

Willow rolls her eyes and in a fond nature says, “Shut up.”

Giles chuckles, finally seating himself across the table from Willow. “So, there’s a possibility that I might already know you?”

Willow sighs, leaning back in her chair. “If you even try to guess I will start telling you every detail I know about your future.”

Giles smirks, “What harm could come from me guessing?”

Willow laughs, “Why don’t you ask _your girlfriend_ that question?”

At Giles glare Willow realizes what it sounds like she just said. With her hands forward in defense, she hurries to say, “Oh! Hey, not a threat. Absolutely not a threat to Ms. Calendar. She just insisted on verbally guessing at who I am and the glamour made her have a splitting headache.”

Giles, though calm, is still on edge. “She knows who you are?”

Willow snorts, “No, she was just dumb enough to try to figure out who I am to the point of nearly injuring herself.”

Giles nods, clearly focused on his own thoughts and not the conversation he is having with a stranger. Concern marrs his features as he considers the fatigue that Jenny expressed before she headed back to her classroom. Cautiously, he asks the stranger, “Did she - Ms. Calendar, did she seem okay afterwards?”

Willow shrugs, “Yeah, for a couple minutes she was still kind of out of it but she’s fine now.”

Watching the disappointment form on Giles’ face, she quickly corrects herself. “Oh, but I think maybe someone should probably check on her. I mean she did kind of collapse because of the headache so maybe she’s still feeling blechy and needs a ride home or something. And I don’t have a license on me so _you_ should _definitely_ go make sure she’s okay.”

Giles barely pays attention to her response past the fact that Jenny might not be okay before he stands up and leaves the library to check if she is still occupying her classroom. Behind him, Willow watches him leave with a sad but hopeful smile on her face.

*

Down the hall Jenny is asleep on her desk, her face pressed against her keyboard, leaving a trail of H’s in her latest attempt to transcribe the ensoulment spell. Unseen to her, Giles enters the doorway and looks yearningly at her, his breath stolen by the sight of her. Even if he does have his qualms with the information she decided to withhold she’s still Jenny. Still, it takes him quite some convincing for him to not step forward to brush the hair out of her face to wake her up. Instead he rouses her from sleep with a hard knock at the door, though he’d rather not disturb her, he’s had his own rounds of desk sleeping and he would much prefer if there was someone to wake him up before his neck feels broken for the next day. 

Jarring from her sleep, Jenny raises her head quickly, wincing at the pain in her shoulders as she looks for a threat. When all she finds is Giles standing in the doorway, she calms down. Smiling softly, she addresses him, “Rupert.”

Giles smiles back, forgetting that he’s supposed to be unhappy with her. “Yes, hello. I just came to…”

Jenny smirks at him from over her shoulder, “To check on me?”

Giles blushes, looking down. “Oh, well. Yes, that’s exactly what I’m doing.”

Jenny shakes her head at him, “I’m fine, England. It’s just been a long day.”

Giles nods, “That-that’s good. I’m glad you’re well.”

As he steps forward he notices the content on her computer screen, narrowing his eyes at the screen, he asks, “What are you doing?”

Realizing her mistake, Jenny quickly minimizes the window. “Nothing, just correcting some projects.”

But Giles knows exactly what he just saw. “Was that the Ritual of Restoration?”

Sighing, Jenny admits, “Yes. Enyos - my uncle - he had the Romanian incantation on him when he…” Clearing her throat she continues, “I think I can give Angel his soul back if I can translate it correctly. I think there’s a chance that I can save him.”

Giles looks at her amazed, “How long have you?”

“As soon as I realized I could help. I just want to help, Rupert. That’s all I’ve ever wanted, even if it doesn’t seem like that to you.” She doesn’t look to him again, too scared that his face might hold disdain.

Giles is nearly bouncing on his toes with excitement. “We must tell Buffy! I mean, this, Jenny _this_ is astounding…”

But Jenny cuts him off, “No. You can’t tell Buffy, not until I know I can do it. I don’t want to let her down again.”

And Giles cares about Buffy, so much that even he likely cannot express it. But he can’t say he doesn’t miss Jenny. Not in the sense of distance but his avoidance of her doorway is becoming increasingly difficult. And he’s not avoiding her because of Buffy alone, he holds his own anger at her choices but he understands why Jenny made those choices a little better than Buffy probably does. While Buffy is an incredibly strong and brave teenage girl, she is still significantly a teenager. One who sees right and wrong as distinctly different sides of a coin instead of areas on a very gray and very large spectrum. But Giles sees the pleading in Jenny’s eyes right now as she asks him not to tell Buffy and he knows that if she could go back she wouldn’t make the same choices. And so he agrees, “Okay. I won’t tell her. But the minute you know, so does she.”

Jenny smiles back at him. “Thank you.”

Giles takes a step forward. “I must admit, I came here to offer you a drive home but…”

“Walk me to my car?” Jenny offers.

Giles nods and offers Jenny an arm once she has collected her bag and turned off her computer. 

Jenny smiles at him as she wraps her arm through his and at his blush, she teases him. “Now, England, anyone looking at you might get the idea that you’re ‘fond of me’.” 

Jenny’s enunciation of the final three words in a terrible British accent only works to solidify exactly how fond Giles is. 

Giles agrees with her assessment and though Jenny is quite clearly teasing he feels it’s important that she knows. “I’m _quite_ fond of you. And, I… I’ve missed you. And I forgive you. But I must be there for Buffy first. If she forgives you, then I would love to take you to dinner or a movie or even to see your, your _trucks_. But she hasn’t, not yet. And she needs to know that I’m on her side before anyone else’s. Even yours, even mine.”

“And I get it. She’s your kid, she’s your priority and she should be.”

“She’s not my _kid_ , she's my Slayer, it’s my duty…”

“Save the duty talk for the higher ups, Rupert. I know you and anyone with eyes and feelings can see that she’s basically your kid.”

He rolls his eyes, “You’re infuriating.”

She smirks, “Thank you.” Quickly turning to walk the final steps to her car, she doesn’t see the way he looks on after her. With her back turned, Giles doesn’t catch the way her eyes harden to keep herself from getting emotional. Once in her car, Jenny opens her bag, pulling out one of the pieces of paper she ungracefully stuffed into it. Turning the car on, she checks the list. Clicking a pen from her bag, she underlines one of the items. Sighing, she pulls out of the Sunnydale High parking lot and heads to the magic shop on Main Street. In her passenger seat are three underlined words. 

Orb of Thesulah.

  
  
  
  
  
  



	3. angelus is a bastard vampire man

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hehe hoohoo joss whedon give your characters names that don't come with a red underline challenge, anyway please enjoy also if you haven't watch she-ra (2018) it says gay rights

Angelus is an honest man. 

Righteous? No. 

Good? Absolutely not. 

To some people he’s not even a man at all. He is just an evil thing taking up the space of someone people are capable of loving. But he’s honest, any murder he accomplishes does not diminish the fact. So being honest, when Drusilla tells him that the Calendar woman that Rupert Giles is so fond of has bought an Orb of Thesulah, he gets a little excited. He’s a simple vampire, the higher the stakes, the more rewarding the outcome. He’s not afraid of getting his soul back, he knows it’s just a matter of time before  _ Angel _ makes another mistake or pisses off a different magic being and Angelus will be back. So, Jenny Calendar makes the perfect pawn for his game. If he wins this round he gets a dead body, a pissed off watcher, and a traumatized slayer. Plus the added bonus of killing another one of those damned Kalderash people. If he loses, well, he’ll be back soon enough. 

Though, still being honest, there is one thing that’s been grating him. And that is the warning Drusilla had given him in her daily ramblings. Angelus can only be so hospitable, he tries to listen to Drusilla’s words whenever they come but, honestly, she’s a woman and further she doesn’t even have all the eggs in her basket, so it's difficult. But she’s been speaking of a woman of no substance and he has no idea what the Hell that is supposed to mean. Especially when Drusilla starts rambling about how the woman of no substance will change what has happened already but not yet and how she has too many faces and ‘dizzy, dizzy, dizzy, the trees are weeping, her face is familiar but it’s not here’ and really Angelus gets that she’s a good lay but he has no clue why Spike keeps her around with all the goddamn pestering. 

But, like he says. Angelus is an honest man. So, when it comes to his plans for the day, starting with little Willow Rosenberg’s precious fish and ending with Rupert Giles’ precious girlfriend, he’s very excited.

*

Willow Rosenberg-[redacted] is many things. Depending on who you ask those things might be brave or powerful but they might also be murderous and arrogant. At different times, the same person might call her all four. The point is, Willow can be a lot of things at once. For example, with the knowledge that today it is February 24th, she is filled with dread and a little bit of anger and also some hope. Because today is the day that she is going to save Jenny Calendar’s life. 

She’s known she is going to save Jenny’s life since she travelled back in time since that’s kind of the reason she travelled back in time. The thing Willow has unfortunately learned being a Scooby is that sometimes people die and usually there’s nothing you can do about it unless you make deals with the almost literal devil or your best friend makes a The Powers That Be sanctioned wish that ends up with you forever in her debt. Except, Willow and one of her students started looking into time travel to the one-eyebrow-raised-stern-voice disapproval of her wife and suddenly there was another option to save someone lost to death.

Basically, once she realized that back in time was a travel excursion she could go on, she knew she had to save Jenny. Even if she doesn’t see the reward in the world she goes back to. This world will get a Jenny who isn’t killed to piss off Buffy and maybe some people like Giles and herself might turn out a little differently. But even if the world is the exact same anyways just with Jenny in the mix, Willow thinks that’s worth it. When the Council agreed to it after much convincing on her part, she started working on the plans.

So, Willow understands what she has to do. She’s had her plan set out for months before she even travelled. She’s calculated every path and every risk and every choice she could make to make sure that Jenny Calendar is alive the next time the sun rises. That means that she knows that Jenny’s choice to buy an Orb of Thesulah is the trigger for Angelus’ plans. 

She remembers that February 24th is the day Jenny died because, well, it was the day Jenny died and it’s one of two dates scribed onto the only place where Jenny exists now in her time. But the Orb of Thesulah sitting on her desk when Willow stops by to greet her is a stark reminder if she would’ve somehow forgotten. Willow doesn’t miss herself asleep at one of the computers in the room. She remembers staying up all night the day before after Angelus killed her fish. She also remembers falling asleep in class for the first time between her panic about Angelus and her fish and also the relief that she wouldn’t have to teach a class.

Knocking on the door to the classroom still empty of all students except one since the end of lunch bell hasn’t rung yet, Willow steps through. “Hey, Ms. Calendar.”

Jenny looks up from the computer in front of her, “Hi, Willow.”

Willow can practically see Jenny’s excitement with how loud her aura is moving. Willow would balk at anyone suggesting she’s any good at reading someone’s aura but the excited noise and hopeful warmth of Jenny’s are so explicit that she doesn’t need to be good. 

“You seem excited.” Willow states, as if she doesn’t already know the reason. As if she doesn’t recognize the words that Jenny is overlooking on the computer from them being ingrained in her brain every time Angel has made a mistake or just a very stupid choice.

Jenny smiles at Willow, “I’m sure you already know, but I’ve figured out the ritual of restoration.”   
  


Willow smiles back, “That’s great!”

Jenny nods, though conflicted. “It is, but I don’t know if I have enough power to complete it myself.”

Willow looks at her knowingly. “You want my help.”

Jenny raises her eyebrows in a pleading motion and Willow hasn’t really thought about the fact that she very probably had a crush on Ms. Calendar before she knew crushes on girls were a thing she could have until Jenny looks at her like that. “I do.”

Willow works past that thought and shrugs. “I wish I could, but I can’t.”

Jenny is taken aback. “Oh.”

With a pained smile at the knowledge of the conflict that the door Willow is about to rip open for her younger self will bring, she says, “But I know someone who can.”

Looking over at her younger self asleep on the keyboard of the computer she spent most of her high school years in front of, she allows herself to feel loss. Just for a moment. She loves her life, and her wife and the people she gets to know because of the magic she has and choices she’s made. But she never lets herself consider if she never did the restoration spell. If she never felt how dangerous and scary and  _ exhilarating _ it was to have her body overtaken by magic, maybe there were people she could’ve saved. Maybe she could’ve learned about magic before it was a part of herself that she couldn’t escape. She loves Buffy, and to this day would both kill and die for her. But she still mourns the girl who spent days in the high school library before it was The Library and who used to try to skateboard with her best friends even though she ended up with bloody knees every time and who could go home at night and be scared of the dark because she was a kid, not because she knew there were actual monsters in it. 

Following Willow’s gaze and interrupting her thoughts, Jenny is angry. “She’s just a kid. She can barely even levitate a pencil, let alone cast a curse on someone.” 

Somewhere, in the last few days, Jenny forgot that this Willow who is strong and powerful and kind of a pain in the ass is the same one who blushes every time she gets a compliment. Willow reminds her, “I know she’s a kid. I used to be that kid. And I’m glad you’re protective, I wish…” She sighs, “I’m glad you’re here to support  _ her _ . But she can do it. And there will be some not great things that will happen much down the line that kind of make sense when you consider the nature of the ritual, but if you think she’s going to hear she can help Buffy by doing that spell and choose not to do it, you’re wrong.”

Jenny shakes her head, “Then I won’t tell her. If she can do the spell with the little magic she has, then I’ll do it.”

Willow smiles, not happily. “She doesn’t have a little magic, Jenny. She’s powerful, she just doesn’t know it. The magic she knows how to use is miniature. But she has enough. And if you don’t tell her, I will.”

Jenny stands up in frustration. “Why are you so insistent on this?”

Willow throws her hands out exasperatedly. “Because I know what comes from her doing this and to be honest, most of it freaking sucks. I mean, nose bleeds and month long headaches and power I can’t control or understand and hurting my friends. But there is something,  _ someone _ that she gets to know if she does that spell. And she deserves to get to know her.”

Jenny smiles slightly, adding that to her list of Clues that I Am Right and Willow Rosenberg is a Baby Lesbian. She relents, “Okay, but I’m still helping her.”

Willow laughs breathlessly, “I’m not going to stop you.”

Jenny looks down, shy for a moment. “So, you know the spell. Does that mean it works?”

Willow nods confidently. “Of course it works.”

Jenny beams, “Awesome. That’s so good.”

Willow looks at the smile on Jenny’s face and tries to feel anything other than sad about the state of Jenny Calendar in the time she’s from. When she can’t, she just nods again. “It is.”

The two of them lull into silence, Willow staring at herself, sixteen and still feeling safe enough in Sunnydale High to fall asleep there without waking up in the midst of nightmares. She thinks about how, in her own timeline, tonight is the night that changes. Sunnydale has been a host to many dead bodies, and many of those bodies were people she knew and interacted with daily. But the day that Angelus killed Jenny made the school scarier. She knew about vampires, had seen one of her best friends be murdered by one. But when Angelus killed Jenny and laid her out like a prize for Giles, Willow stopped thinking there was anywhere safe. 

Jenny, unaware of Willow’s pondering of her own demise, looks between the two Willows occupying her classroom. Misreading the glassy look in the older Willow’s eyes as she looks at herself, she speaks, “That’s gotta be weird.”

Shaken from her thoughts, Willow widens her eyes to focus on Jenny. “What?”

Jenny gestures her head towards the younger Willow. “Seeing her, interacting with her. The whole experience of being in the same room as yourself. I mean, do you have her memories?”

Willow nods her agreement, “Yeah, weird is pretty much what I’d call it. I don’t have her memories of  _ this _ ,” Willow gestures to the room, “But I have her memories of today without me in them. I remember falling asleep here because I was so stressed about having to teach the class if you weren’t here. Which, side note, she’s  _ sixteen _ , you getting mad at me for wanting her to do a spell and you were going to have her teach your class for you? A little hypocritical.”

Jenny furrows her brows. “Oh, okay, yeah maybe you’re right. But to be fair, one class is a little different than a spell that predisposes you to become reliant on magic.”

Willow scoffs, “One class - I…”

And then she remembers that the months of classes she taught and work she marked while she tried to do her own homework and study for exams and help save the world weren’t exactly Jenny’s fault. Shaking her head, Willow sighs, “You’re right. It’s just…”

Jenny smirks. “Hard to interact with her without telling her not to do any of the stupid things she’s going to do?”

Letting her head fall back onto her shoulders Willow sighs loudly, “Goddess,  _ yes _ .”

Jenny laughs, “I can imagine. If I ran into a younger me I don’t know if I could not tell her everything about her future.”

Willow hums. “It is increasingly difficult not to. I mean, I get why she does the stupid things she does because I was her when she did them but  _ jeez _ , an ounce of thought before she did those things would be nice.”

Jenny snorts just as the lunch bell rings. The younger Willow’s head slips from the desk in front of her as she urgently lifts her head. Blushing, she turns towards Ms. Calendar and the stranger who are wearing matching cringes, likely at the noise her head made against the desk. Feeling groggy and embarrassed from her unplanned nap, she laughs, “Sorry, Ms. Calendar. I didn’t mean to fall asleep.”

Ms. Calendar smiles at her, “You’re okay, Will. Oz, stopped by earlier to check on you, he said something about skipping math.”

Willow nods, “Oh. Okay, thanks Ms. Calendar. I’ll see ya.” With her fuzzy smiley face backpack, Willow the younger practically skips out of the room.

Jenny raises an eyebrow at the older Willow once the two of them are left alone, “That backpack was certainly a choice.”

Willow rolls her eyes at Jenny, “Shut up.”

Jenny just laughs. As students start to fill the class, Willow turns to leave. Jenny quickly stops her. “Oh, before you leave. There are few things in the translation that I’m not one hundred percent sure of, could you stop by after school to go over it with me.”

Willow, glad that Jenny has given her an easy way to explain being there to stop Angelus tonight, smiles. “Of course, anything to help.”

Walking out of the classroom, Willow is confident that she can stop Angelus. But still, in the back of her mind a nagging voice tells her that something will go wrong. Ignoring it, she doesn’t turn back and heads to a place she knows she won’t be disturbed.

*

When she gets to the cliffs, she tries to focus on basically everything except the energy that pulses throughout the area at all times. Willow knows this probably isn’t the best place for her to be trying to control her magic, traumatic memories and standing over a buried temple all being strong points as to why she should probably find a different place. But Kingman’s Bluff is a hidden cliff and it is an open plain when there’s no effigy being pulled from the ground, and most importantly, no one can see her as she figures out how to work magic in this time.

The things about magic is that it moves and changes just as the people who use it do. But when you are actively practicing, you don’t recognize the change since magic moves with you. But if you stop for a long time, or in this very specific case, are jostled from one point in time to another, magic doesn’t recognize you anymore. More importantly, you can’t control it as well. Willow doesn’t like to brag, not anymore. However, she knows that she is the most powerful witch in her time, it’s a side effect of using a magic scythe to give a bunch of slayers powers and getting dosed with what is essentially the core of magic. To say the least, having a loose control on her magic is jostling. She feels useless and like she’s twenty again and almost killing her best friend’s sister.

Which, speaking of,  _ what the hell _ . Of course Willow  _ knows  _ that Dawn is a mystical key that randomly appeared in all of their lives during their second year of college but it’s still weird as hell to come back to a place where Dawn exists in her brain and not have her actually be here. But, to focus on the magic, Willow is annoyed because she can’t control it. And by annoyed, what she means is scared that maybe she won’t be able to actually save Jenny tonight. And by scared what she means is actually terrified that she won’t be able to get back to her time once this whole thing is through. 

Point is, it’s important that Willow is on a bluff that holds some of her darkest memories (though, technically not yet) because she needs to be hidden while she figures out how to work her magic. And she needs to be hidden when she inevitably screws that up.

Closing her eyes, Willow focuses on herself and feels the way that her hands rest in the grass around her. She concentrates on the way she can feel wind through every strand of her hair and can feel her own breath becoming a part of the earth as it moves the air in front of her. Calm and warm despite the February chill, Willow reaches for the roots with her magic. Her go-to meditation since Giles taught her it in England all those years ago. When she twists her magic into the earth and can feel the familiar sharp of the Hellmouth’s teeth, she knows she has gone far enough. She reaches back, pulling the roots of a plant with her. When she opens her eyes, she expects to see the bright red of a cardinal flower in front of her. 

Instead, there is a small patch of burning orange fire. Instinctively she throws a hand forward. “Stinguo.” 

Nothing happens. She takes off her coat and places it over the fire and stomps it out. Once she is sure that the fire is out, she looks into her palm where a crumpled red flower lays. Sighing, she speaks to no one, “You’re not funny.”

She is responded to with a breeze that pushes her coat nearly over the cliff. Her jacket caught, and her face red from both the wind and embarrassment, she sits back down to try again. And again. However many times it takes for her to be sure she can help Jenny and get home.

*

Jenny tries to be understanding in most situations. She knows that every story has a bunch of sides. She knows that things can happen. However, currently, she holds a lot of anger at the older version of Willow Rosenberg who agreed to meet after school to help with perfecting the ritual of restoration. It’s not  _ real _ anger. But it’s definitely real annoyance. On pretty much any other night when she did not have a very good chance of getting to actually explain and make up what she’d done to Rupert, she might be a little less annoyed. But as it stands, she’s supposed to be meeting him in about half an hour and Willow the Elder but apparently less responsible is still missing. 

She scrolls through the translation a few more times, searching for any wording that seems off or any hints to ingredients that she might have missed. When she doesn’t find them, she starts to pack her bag, ready to leave finalizing the spell until tomorrow. She has a date with a librarian she really doesn’t want to miss. Just as she pushes her bag onto her shoulder, she spots movement in the corner of her classroom. She sighs in frustration, “Really? I’ve been waiting for you for hours, I -”

But she stops herself. Because when she looks up it isn’t Willow in the corner of her classroom. It’s Angel.

*

Willow Rosenberg-[redacted] is an irresponsible and forgetful and overall  _ stupid _ idiot who has become reliant on technology that can set alarms for her to remind her to do simple tasks like  _ stop meditating before Jenny gets murdered _ . This specific part of her character is what has led to her travelling across town from the bluffs to the school in a mixture of semi-competent teleportation and sprinting. She tries not to panic as she does it but it’s hard. Because she doesn’t remember what time Jenny died at. She just remembers it was dark and that Buffy was out stopping Giles late enough that neither of them went to school the day after. 

So, she’s trying not to panic. But she has been reckless and Jenny is alone  _ again  _ in a classroom that Angelus can get into  _ again _ and Willow will be damned, likely literally, if she lets Jenny die  _ again _ . She teleports herself one last time, into the halls of Sunnydale High School. Lucky for her, she watches Jenny sprint past her, the sound of double doors crashing behind her. Unlucky for her, Angelus is seconds behind her and speeds past her as well.

Calling on her magic and Angelus, she yells, “Hey, asshole! Get the hell away from her!” 

Without words, she pushes her magic forward, knocking Angelus down for a moment. Nodding towards a door to the outside, Willow mouths for Jenny to leave. Panic in her eyes, Jenny looks like she’s going to refuse but Willow stops her before she can. “I’ve got this.”

Jenny believes her and Willow is grateful. Even though based on the drain she’s feeling after just pushing Angelus over, Willow probably very much does not ‘got this’. Satisfied with Jenny’s exit, Willow focuses again on Angelus. With his Vamp Face on, he smirks at her. “This should be fun.”

He stands with his arms outstretched, aimed at her throat. She dodges him, sticking out a leg to trip him as she steps aside. Using her magic, she flips him as he falls over her leg. He curses at her, “You’re the bitch Drusilla warned me about.”

Willow puts that information away for later. She tilts her head at him as she stands over him, “That’s a high horse you’re sitting on, calling someone else a bitch.”

He tries to stand again but Willow pushes out her hand. “Nocere!”

He chuckles darkly, “You think I haven’t dealt with magic before? All you witches are the same.”

This time Willow uses both of her hands, pushing Angelus again, he slams into the burgundy lockers behind him. Out of breath from the power she uses, Angelus takes notice as she regroups. He pushes himself up once he knows she has regained her power and she pushes him again.

He falls once more, grunting. 

He stands up again, she pushes him again.

Once more, and then when he hits the ground he stands right back up. But this time Willow has paused to refocus her magic. Smirking at her, Angelus prowls forward. “You witches and your rules of three.” 

Willow gasps as he steps forward, trying to escape. As he wraps his hand around her arm, breaking the glamour, his eyes widen. He laughs, “Oh, I was just going to kill you. But this just got much more fun,  _ Willow _ .”

He wraps his arms around her body, digging his nails into her hands until they start bleeding. He jumps through the large window in front of him, no care for the way the broken glass collides with Willow’s body. Behind him there is nothing but hints of Willow’s magic and a pool of her blood.

Moments too late, Buffy bursts through the doors of the school, trailing her only by seconds are Giles, Jenny, and Willow. When there’s no one in the building, she turns back to Jenny. “I thought you said Angelus was here with the stranger?”

Out of breath, Jenny nods, “He was.”

The four of them spread out through the room, in front of the broken window that Angelus had jumped through, Willow spots the pool of blood that she doesn’t know is her own. She calls attention to it, “Guys, I think he took her.”

Jenny pales but no one notices. Buffy paces once she reaches the window, “Okay. Okay… I mean, we can find her tomorrow. This can wait, it’s not like she can’t take care of herself, I mean she can time travel.”

Giles nods, “It’s not likely we’d have any success tonight. Especially not when Angelus is able to roam free.”

Willow is about to agree when Jenny interjects, “ _ No _ , we have to find them tonight!”

Giles furrows his brow, “What? Jenny, there’s nothing we can do.”

Jenny eyes say everything Giles needs to hear but she speaks anyway, “Rupert, please.”

But Buffy catches what neither Willow nor Giles do. Accusing, she steps towards Jenny. “You know who she is.”

Jenny’s eyes widen. “Buffy…”

Buffy continues, cutting her off, “Are you kidding me? You’ve spent weeks sulking about how you would do it differently if you could. How you would’ve told us about Angel before.  _ But you did it again _ .”

Jenny shakes her head. Giles argues for her, “Buffy, you have no proof...”

But Jenny corrects him, “She’s right, England.” She tries not to look at him, doesn’t want to see that look on his face again. But she sees it anyway. “But Buffy, this isn’t the same. The stranger, she’s not a threat to you -”

Buffy glares at Jenny, “I don’t think I want  _ you _ determining what is and isn’t a threat to me, since we’ve seen how great you are at that.”

Buffy centers herself, “We are going to go to the library and make a plan. You are going to come, too. Since this stranger is so important to you. But we aren’t doing anything until tomorrow when we have the upper hand.”

Jenny nods, and looks to Giles, but he has already followed Buffy down the hall. From behind her, she brightens at a voice before she realizes that it isn’t the friend she’s made over the past few days but is actually her student. Willow looks conflicted when Jenny turns around to face her. “Ms. Calendar, I really like you. And you’re my favourite teacher and I know you’re a good person and I’ve known you longer than I’ve known Giles  _ or  _ Buffy. So, believe me I really,  _ really _ wanna be on your side here. But Buffy is right, you can’t keep deciding what people should and shouldn’t know. It’s not fair. Especially when it puts us in danger. I mean, I get that the stranger, she hasn’t hurt us. But now Buffy is going to have to save her and put herself in danger.”

Willow looks down, sighing. “I don’t know who this stranger is, and I don’t know if I want to. But I’m going to trust you on this, because I know who you are. But if there’s anything else we need to know to save her or to protect ourselves against and you don’t tell us, you don’t get anymore chances.”

Jenny nods, “Thank you, Willow.”

Switching from serious to shy in nanoseconds, Willow is looking wide-eyed at Jenny. “Um, I know I just kind of ranted at you, but can I borrow your phone to call Xander, Oz, and Cordelia?”

Jenny smiles at her shift in confidence, “Of course.”

And the two of them head to the library, neither of them noticing the vampire standing outside the window with a hand clasped over the mouth of a bleeding woman.

  
  



	4. rupert giles is an impatient man

Willow considers the frequency with which she has to deal with Angelus one of the great pains of her life. She loves Buffy and would do anything for her, so obviously the ritual of restoration isn’t that terrible of a thing to do, no matter how much she hates the feeling of magic over-taking her that only seems to happen when she does that spell. But having to do it every time Angel messes up or  _ actively makes the decision to become Angelus without talking to her first _ gets pretty tiring. She cares about Angel too, but there have been several times when Xander’s suggestion that they just stake him has been a little desirable. 

Today, for example, she would hold Angel down while Xander stakes him. She knows the tricks that Angelus uses when he’s torturing people, she’s heard second-hand from Giles exactly what it’s like. And she’s a Scooby and high-ranking member of the Council now so, torture isn’t exactly something that’s new to her. But there’s something especially anger inducing and stake to Angel’s heart inducing when Drusilla runs her fingers down her face, leaving trailing wounds behind and then in front of her is the love of her life. “Hi, sweetie.”

Willow looks away from what is clearly a figment to glare at Angelus. “Do you think I’m stupid?”

Angelus grins. “Do you really want me to answer that?”

Willow squirms as Tara -  _ Drusilla’s  _ hands start to wander across her body. Coughing as blood from the wounds on her face start to drip into her mouth, Willow rolls her eyes at Angelus. “I don’t know what exactly you’re looking for from me. I have nothing for you.”

Angelus laughs. “See, I think you do. Because you’re Buffy’s best friend, and you’re clearly from the future, so  _ I think _ that maybe you know exactly what I’m looking for.”

Willow raises her eyebrows. “A nice tan?”

In Tara’s voice, Drusilla growls out in front of her. “Don’t lie.”

Willow shrugs. “Truly, spectacular job. The appearance and voice is spot on, but you’ve really gotta work on your intonation if you want to make it believable. Also, maybe make the stench of your magic a little less pungent.”

Drusilla snarls at her and rips her head back. Angelus stops her, “Now, Dru. You know we need her.”

Her grip on Willow relaxes and Angelus focuses on her. “Acathla, do you know about it?”

Willow lulls her head back, “Demon, death, apocalypse - the usual with you doomsday types.”

Angelus steps forward and pushes Drusilla out of the way. “Listen, Red. You’re gonna want to start talking pretty soon.”

Willow raises her eyebrows. “Am I? Because I feel pretty comfortable, and I already know how this plays out.”

Of course, she doesn’t. And on a scale of one to ten she’s pretty freaking terrified right now because she knows that Angelus can be very bad especially when you don’t give him what he wants and she has no intention of telling him anything that she knows, especially not about Acathla. 

Angelus sees through her. “You know how this plays out? So, you already know this is going to happen.”

He moves forward quickly, and twists her fingers in his hand. Gasping, she tries not to focus on the pops she hears in her hand. She sucks air in as she tries no to cry out, but tears build in her eyes. Angelus smiles at her, “How are you feeling about talking now?”

Willow is still huffing as she speaks, “Still not going to tell you anything.”

Angelus shrugs, “That’s your choice. Maybe I’ll let Dru here have some fun. It’s not like those precious Scoobies are going to come to save you, they don’t even know who you are.”

Willow schools her face, she knows she’s bad at keeping secrets. And Angelus knowing that the only person who knows who she is is also the woman he had planned to kill anyway is a bad idea. She watches Angelus walk away and groans when Drusilla steps forward again. Admittedly, she misses Tara. Not enough for any of what is happening to be even slightly a good time, though.

  
  


*

Buffy is kind of pissed. And by kind of she means very pissed. She wants Giles to be happy, and she wants people to be safe. But as soon as she starts to think ‘Hey, maybe it’s time to trust Ms. Calendar, maybe she’s earned it.’ Ms. Calendar decided keeping the identity of the stranger who has created another unnecessary situation with her evil ex-boyfriend was more important than telling them what’s going on. So, Buffy really does want Giles to be happy and date and do those fun adult things. But his taste in women is really grating on her.

Buffy knows Ms. Calendar is a good person, she knows she regrets it. But God, could she not speak to a single person about Angel or the stranger. Buffy knows what it feels like to think you’re alone in life but she also knows she  _ isn’t _ , no matter how much it feels like that sometimes. Buffy watches as Giles pours through his journals, pausing nearly every minute to look up at Ms. Calendar and she doesn’t get how she doesn’t see that she’s not alone. 

It’s been hours since they started trying to figure out a plan. Willow has been looking through the city’s blueprints while Jenny looks through abandoned buildings, trying to determine with certainty where Angel is now. The entire time, Willow confirms every choice she makes with Jenny and Buffy doesn’t get it. She doesn’t get that Jenny doesn’t see it. When Cordelia and Xander arrived with Oz in tow, Willow had barely looked up from helping her. So, Buffy comprehends the loneliness that comes with having a duty, whether it’s as a slayer, watcher, or member of a magical clan. But she doesn’t understand the selective blindness Jenny has decided on using when the people around her are obviously proving that she isn’t alone.

The point is, Buffy is tired of being angry at the people that people she cares about care about. So, if Ms. Calendar could try not keeping secrets, Buffy could stop being angry. 

*

Willow is very tired, and if Drusilla would stop getting so close to her or pressing into the wounds in her hands maybe she could just fall asleep and not wake up until younger versions of her friends come running through the doors to save her. As it stands, Drusilla keeps digging into her fingers, not to mention the deep cuts Drusilla keeps leaving everywhere on her body and she suddenly finds herself grateful that when a Gnarl demon tried to kill her, she was paralyzed and numb. She just wants to fall asleep and be saved. At this point she would even take falling asleep and realizing that this whole time travel thing has been a dream. She knows it isn’t, but she really would rather that than have to stay here where Drusilla keeps cutting into her and Angelus stands with a smirk on his face at her pain, asking her questions she knows she’s never going to answer. She has an inching suspicion that he knows she isn’t going to answer either and that he is just finding joy in her pain. 

But it’s Drusilla doing the hurting. It’s Drusilla who is cutting her and licking up the blood as it runs down her body. It’s Drusilla who keeps twisting her already swollen and bruising fingers. It’s Drusilla who pushes her torso into the back of the chair with her hands until Willow both feels and hears the cracking of her ribs under them. It’s Drusilla who is torturing her. It’s not the blonde she watches do it. It’s not Tara who’s hurting her. Even though that’s what it looks like. Even though her brain keeps telling her that’s what’s happening. Even though her brain is implying things like maybe, just maybe, Willow deserves this, especially when her torturer looks like Tara.

Angel grins threateningly from over Drusilla’s shoulder. “I would be so interested to know who Drusilla is for you right now.”

He steps forward around Drusilla, grabbing Willow’s chin strongly with one of his hands, his fingers bruising. Her hands shake from behind the chair as she tries not to move. He looks deep into her eyes. “Is it that werewolf? Or maybe it’s  _ our _ slayer.”

Willow flinches as Angelus tightens his grip. She watches as his face transforms from his human mask to clearly display the actual monster he is. He lunges forward and Willow groans as he bites over where Drusilla has already left bruises on her neck. She only grows more tired as the pain in her neck heightens. But he stops, and Drusilla is back looking like Tara and making her wish she could just fall asleep. So, maybe she does deserve this. Maybe she did the last good thing she can by saving Jenny and the karmic cycle has decided now is the time for her to be equalized. 

But it’s not Tara hurting her, so it’s not a matter of retribution or revenge or any honest act other than Drusilla looking to cause the most harm. Willow has always been the vengeful one out of the two of them anyway. 

*

When a blonde she doesn’t recognize comes flashing into the library at the late hour of probably early morning, Jenny has decided she has had enough of witches flashing headache inducing white when they time travel. And she knows this woman is both a witch and time travelling because the magic makes the room smell and she’s wearing the same not-quite-familiar style of clothing that Willow was wearing before she decided getting kidnapped by a homicidal maniac vampire was a good idea. (She knows it’s not Willow’s fault, she’s just tired and a little not happy with the way she has managed to piss off the Scoobies again for keeping her secrets.)

The unfamiliar blonde’s eyes go wide at her unfamiliar surroundings, finding no solace in the two brunette women at the table in front of her, though she knows both of them from photos which hang on the walls of her own home. Searching, she lands on three teenagers and a librarian she knows quite well along with a less familiar though just as poignant werewolf and confirms to herself that she is in the right place, though before she can say anything Giles has grabbed a sword from the table and stepped in front of her, threatening her with said sword. 

Glaring at her, Giles asks, “Who the hell are you?”

Swallowing thickly, she tries to focus on her words. “I-I imagine the woman who was here before me p-p-probably made it, uh,  _ very _ hard for you to trust more r-random pe…” She takes a deep breath, “Sorry - people who appear with magic from the future.”

Giles looks no less calm, and Jenny doesn’t have the trust of knowing this woman from her classes so she doesn’t stop his threat. Still, she can clearly see that the woman is distressed. Frustrated, Giles speaks through his teeth, “Then  _ I imagine _ you can see my frustration with random people appearing in my library. Especially when the last one of you who showed up here ended up forcing J-Ms. Calendar to keep her secrets.”

The blonde casts a glance at Jenny. Jenny is shocked by the blonde’s instant recognition of her as who Giles is referring to and she figures she’s probably telling the truth if she knows who she is. This stranger’s blue eyes offer apology, but Jenny corrects Giles, “W-the stranger didn’t force me to do anything. I can make my own choices.”

Giles moves the sword closer to the blonde and she holds up her hands, “P-please don’t.”

Giles still looks pissed, “Why the hell should I trust you?”

The blonde shakes her head, “You d-don’t need to. I just want to find her so we - s-so  _ I _ can take her back with me.”

Giles’ eyes narrow at the woman, “Who is she?”

The blonde looks pained, “I can’t t-tell -”

As Giles thrusts the sword towards her, the blonde throws a hand forward, a soft blue light shooting out from it. “Repello.”

The spell pushes Giles back, though he is clearly uninjured. As he recovers, Jenny’s eyes shoot to a glint from the blonde’s hand and is jarred by the fact that on her left ring finger are two rings. One a match to the band Willow was wearing and the other featuring a soft glowing green stone, reminiscent of the blue one Willow had also donned. Looking into the blonde’s eyes as she pleads for help to find the stranger that Jenny swore to not reveal is Willow, Jenny realizes something. “Oh, shit.”

As Giles stands, clearly still as set on attacking the witch as he has been, Jenny grabs his arm to interrupt him, “Stop.”

Giles turns to Jenny, “ _ Jenny _ , she is clearly…”

Jenny stares wide-eyed at him, “Clearly what? Terrified?”

Giles looks like he’s about to object but Jenny just glares, “Look at her, Rupert.”

As he turns to look at the blonde he sees fear in her eyes that he can recall feeling when he saw Jenny banging on the door of his house just hours ago. “Oh.”

The blonde offers him an awkward half-smile, “P-please. She matters to me, and I know she’s hurt. I j-just need help saving her.”

Xander steps forward from where him and the other teens had been watching the scene play out. “Well, hey, we’re kind of the helping out club here. Plus looking at you doesn’t make me want to throw up, so that’s nice.”

The blonde smiles at him, giving a quick and soft laugh, “Thanks.”

Buffy steps forward, “Not to disagree with Xander, but you kind of seem like you’ve got that whole magic thing going on. And I know that I’m a slayer but what’s the worst that could happen to her? I mean, I know that Angel has her, but she also seems like she’s got a hell of a lot of magic, too.”

The blonde nods, “We both have magic, th-that’s true. But it works differently here than where we're from. And she’s still h-human, magic or not. If Angelus has h-her and he knows how to subdue a witch’s magic or ca-caught her off guard then…” She sighs, stabilizing her thoughts, “I can feel her and she’s not safe right now. And if she’s not safe then Angelus probably knows how to work around her magic and that definitely means they could work around mine.”

Giles hums, “You're not as powerful as her?”

The blonde shakes her head, letting out a soft chuckle, “N-no, I’m nowhere near as powerful as she is.”

Cordelia interrupts the conversation, “Um, no offense, but we don’t even know your name. So, helping you sounds like something Buffy and Giles can do since that’s kind of their duties. But we don’t know jack about you except that you care about someone who kind of just put all of us in more danger than we already were, and we are currently literally over the mouth of Hell.”

The blonde becomes defensive, “She didn’t -” She sighs, “My name is Tara. I’m from the f-future and I know most of you there and I need your help to find my, uh, friend.”

Jenny raises her eyebrow at the descriptor, and at the way Tara pauses before it. Jenny has had many a  _ friend,  _ she’s just glad she gets points for being right when she added Willow to her Inappropriate List of Not Straight Students.

The Willow who is not currently being tortured by an evil vampire steps forward, “Um, okay. But even if what you’re saying is true, how are we supposed to help you find her. It’s not like we can do a locator spell if you can’t tell us her name.”

Tara smiles, “I don’t need your help finding her, I can do that. I just need help with the actual getting of her.”

Willow nods, inexplicably excited to help, “Oh! Well then we can help!” Looking around at her friends, she adds, “Can’t we?”

Jenny smirks knowingly at Willow’s excitement. Giles catches the knowledge in Jenny’s eyes and tucks it away for later contemplation. 

Buffy agrees. “I’ll help you. We planned to go get her in the morning, so you’ll have to wait. But if you do  _ anything _ that makes it seem like you’re evil, I will not hesitate to hurt you.”

Tara nods. “Buffy, t-this can’t wait until the morning. I c-can feel her and I-I don’t…” She trails off for a moment as she takes a deep breath. “I don’t think she’ll make it to the morning.”

Jenny steps to support her. “We should go now. Who knows what he’s doing to her.”

Buffy shakes her head. “ _ No _ , we’ll have a better chance when it’s light out and he can’t escape.”

Giles moves towards her and places his hand on her shoulder. “I can understand why you want to wait to go after him. But, Buffy, this, this stranger, she is human and she came here to help her slayer. She needs our help as soon as we can give it.”

“And she got taken by Angel when she was saving my life! Buffy, I get that you’re mad at me, and you have every right to be, but this is not about me, and it’s not about you. It is about someone, whether you trust her or not, who is  _ good _ and who hasn’t done anything to hurt you.” Jenny adds.

Buffy clearly looks overwhelmed as she runs her hands through her hair and Tara breaks into the conversation again. As she moves to stand in front of Buffy. “ _ Hey _ . We can come up with a plan, you can veto anything you think will end up with someone hurt. This isn’t all on you, Angel isn’t your fault, and all of us are here to help you. And I know you don’t know me, but I’ll help you however I can. If you can trust me, I promise we’ll both help you before we get out of your business for good.”

Tara watches as Buffy looks back at her with tears in her eyes and nods. She’s known Buffy for a long time, she’s one of her best friends. But this Buffy isn’t one she ever got to meet. By the time she met her, Angel and Angelus and all the guilt and pain that she had surrounding him were gone or dealt with or pushed down deep enough that they didn’t really come up. So, Tara feels kind of devastated at how alone Buffy looks. Even though she can see that she isn’t, Buffy’s aura is simple. She sees the familiar blue of Giles intertwined in it, and feels the way that Xander and Willow’s warm browns encircle her. She even sees the purple that she only sees once in a while in her own time and figures that it’s probably Jenny’s. But what makes Tara sad is the way that Buffy’s own green jumps away every time it seems like the other colours and textures might encroach on her enough to be a solid aura rather than the jumble of threads it is right now. 

Buffy wipes her eyes as Tara focuses on her physical being and nods again. “Okay, I’ll help you. We’ll go get your friend, but we  _ need _ a plan.”

Tara smiles at her. “That sounds good to me.”

Buffy smiles back, albeit shyly. Giles clears his throat, “Right, well. We should get working on a plan.”

Buffy nods and walks over to join the rest of the Scoobies back at the table. But Tara turns towards Jenny, “I think we should probably talk, uh, privately.”

Jenny nods, admittedly a little excited because this is Willow’s  _ friend _ . Tara turns to Giles, “Is it okay if we borrow your office?”

Giles nods. “Oh? Yes, of course.”

Tara smiles and grabs Jenny’s wrist to pull her along. Jenny shuts the door behind her once they’re inside the office. Tara watches as she nearly buzzes with excitement, even if she wasn’t good at reading auras, Jenny’s interest right now would be clear. Tara hasn’t ever actually met Jenny before, she heard her be mentioned many times and has heard hundreds of stories and though they’re technically strangers, Jenny Calendar holds a significantly important place in her life. She can see why just in the moments that she’s interacted with her already. As she looks at Jenny’s aura she smiles at the twin strands that she knows belong to her wife and this time’s version of her. But what really interests her about Jenny’s aura is how, just like Buffy’s, it jumps away from any other thread interlocking with it enough for it to be a trusted source of relation. 

The closest that comes is a blue that Tara knows is Giles because of the familiar and rooty smell but whose shade is unfamiliar. Tara’s met some of the women the Giles she knows has dated and the blue she had seen in their auras pales in comparison to the one she watches dance and dance in an effort to just connect with Jenny’s lilac aura. It makes Tara think of the Willow she had come back to and the familiar but dull brown she had seen wrapped up in Kennedy’s aura. For neither the first nor last time, Tara is thankful that Buffy is in her life, and even more thankful that she’s in Willow’s. But the point is, Jenny’s lilac is so bright and warm and deep that Tara gets the way that it’s been over twenty years in her time and Jenny is still so present in the people she cares about. 

Jenny, uncomfortable with the way that Tara seems to just be staring at her intensely, shifts. She is brought out of her discomfort when Tara snaps back, “So, you know who she is.”

Jenny smiles. “Willow? Yeah, she’s not great at keeping secrets.”

Tara laughs. “Definitely not.”

Jenny, not one to avoid any topics, decides to dive in to find out what she wants to know. Leaning against Rupert’s desk, she tilts her head. “So, you’re her wife?”

When Tara’s eyes just widen, in a frankly sweet imitation of exactly what Willow looked like when Jenny figured out who she was. Apparently a shared trait, Tara proceeds to badly lie. “Oh, I-I, I’m not her…”

Sighing, Tara gives up a futile fight under the raised eyebrow of Jenny Calendar. “Okay, yes. Willow’s my wife.”

Jenny beams because she’s  _ right _ . “Ha, I knew it.”

Tara furrows her brow. “Knew that I’m Willow’s wife?”

Jenny shakes her head. “No. I mean,  _ yes _ , but that’s a newer realization. I mean I knew Willow was, uh,  _ in the club _ , so to speak.”

Tara laughs at Jenny’s phrasing. “In the club?”

Jenny nods. “Yes, the club where those of us attracted to the same-sex gather.”

Tara raises her eyebrows at the very specific word Jenny uses. “ _ Us _ ?”

Jenny laughs, “Uh, yeah. Was it not obvious?”

Tara shakes her head. “I don’t know, but probably don’t tell my Will that if you don’t want her head to explode.”

Jenny adds the fact that an apparently gay Willow doesn’t know she’s bi to her list of reasons she is probably dead in the future. Ignoring that unfortunate fact, she asks, “So, you wanted to talk to me privately?”

Tara nods. “Yeah. Mostly just to make sure that you actually knew that it’s Willow and it wasn’t just some misunderstanding.”

Jenny nods. But Tara continues, “Um, also, does Angelus have magic?”

Tara doesn’t remember any of her interactions with Angel including him having magic and she doesn’t remember anyone ever mentioning Angelus using magic. But the pain that is resonating through her connection to Willow doesn’t feel like it’s solely physical. Jenny shakes her head. “No. Angel doesn’t have magic.”

Confused, Jenny tilts her head. “Oh! But Drusilla does, kind of.”

Off of Tara’s clear encouragement to continue, Jenny does, “When she was human she had vision, that’s why Angel changed her. But Rupert’s journals have writings about her using illusions and hypnosis to torture and kill some of her victims.”

Tara breathes out, glad for an explanation but not happy with the door that it opens for what is happening to Willow right now. “O-okay, that’s, uh,  _ interesting _ .”

Jenny reaches out to squeeze Tara’s shoulder. “ _ Hey _ , we’ll find Willow and get her to safety.”

Tara nods. “Yeah. I know, just, I’m worried about her.”

Jenny smiles at her softly. “Of course you are, she’s your wife.”

As Tara smiles back, a shocked cough jostles both of them out of their conversation.

Tara and Jenny both turn their heads rapidly towards the doorway where Giles now stands. “I was just coming to get my journal, but clearly that’s not prevalent.”

Jenny steps forward as if to comfort him but Giles' face contorts as he looks as Tara. “The stranger who is currently being held hostage by Angelus is Willow Rosenberg? And you’re her wife?”

Tara nods once with an awkward smile. Before he can respond, Giles collapses to the floor with a grunt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ahaha new tags babey, two time travelling lesbians for the price of one, gay rights (also just for clarification, future willow’s life is canon compliant through seasons 1-7)


	5. tara maclay is kind of stressed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i am gay and that means i like three things: homosexuality, angst, and jenny calendar, that's what this chapter was inspired by, anyway hope you enjoy

Jenny and Tara both look at each other before they both rush forward to help Giles who is now groaning on the floor with his hands wrapped around his ears. Tara’s eyes are wide when she turns to Jenny. “What’s wrong with him?”

Jenny looks just as confused for a moment before clarity washes over her face. “Oh! It’s Willow’s glamour, this happened to me when I figured out who she was, I don’t know what she did to make it stop.”

Tara nods, “Okay…  _ okay _ .”

Giles is still writhing in pain when Tara reaches out a hand to place it on his shoulder. Jenny watches in awe as Tara eases his pain, enough so that he is able to sit up. Jenny looks over the both of them. “Did you stop it?”

Though Giles’ wince answers that clearly it hasn’t been stopped, Tara clarifies. “No, I just cast a pretty strong protection spell, it should work until we can get Willow to remove her glamour on him.”

Giles nods. “Thank you. It’s only as strong as a bad headache now.”

Tara nods, clearly not happy that he’s still in pain. “Good, that’s good.”

From her position next to him, Jenny soothingly runs her fingers through Giles’ hair. He hums from contentedness and Tara looks away, giving them privacy. Jenny meets Giles’ eyes but before she can say anything, they’re interrupted by a call from the library. “Hey guys, I think we have a plan.”

When they walk out of the office, Jenny noticeably hovering around Giles, they’re met with Buffy who looks almost excited. First, Buffy turns to Tara. “You can do magic right? And I mean like actually, not the way Ms. Calendar does, no offense.”

Jenny shakes her head but says nothing. Tara smiles at Buffy. “I can definitely do magic, yeah.”

Buffy excitedly hops. “Okay! So, we know where Angelus is, probably. And Spike and Drusilla are probably around but we don’t really want to fight them, not right now anyway. So, we’ve gotta get them away from the factory long enough that someone can go in and get the stranger.”

Willow is nodding along behind her. “Yeah, so we figured we could make distractions? Like we could use a glamour to make one of us look like Buffy to get Angel out of the factory and then actual Buffy could sneak up on Drusilla and then Spike would probably do whatever to keep Drusilla alive. Well, undead alive, but still.”

Tara considers it for a moment, but Jenny interrupts. “Not to be all ‘down with the plan’ here, but we’re talking about a vampire who is stronger and faster than you kids, even if one of you looks like Buffy, he can still hurt you, or  _ kill you _ , if he catches you.”

Buffy shakes her head. “No, he won’t kill them if he thinks they’re me, if he kills me he wants me to hurt before it, so his focus is on hurting other people around me. Wearing my face is probably the safest they’d be.”

At Jenny’s look Buffy tilts her head. “Look, don’t get me wrong, I absolutely would prefer to not put my friends in danger, but this is the only plan we have, so unless you have another one up your sleeve… The sun is going to start rising soon, and then we will have to wait again.”

Willow nods from beside Buffy. “We  _ can _ do this Ms. Calendar. I mean, if Tara agrees, but we can do it.”

Jenny hums, admitting defeat. From beside her, Tara smiles at Buffy and Willow. “I can make the glamour happen, just let me know who to put it on.”

Buffy nods. “Our plan was Will or Cordy and then the boys could back her up.”

Tara nods. Jenny steps forward nervously, “Actually, I think I need Willow’s help with something.”

Everyone, except Tara and Giles look confused. Jenny explains timidly, “There’s a ritual I’ve translated that I think we should do pretty soon, and Willow, with your magic, you can help me with it.”

Buffy looks angry through her confusion. “Listen, Ms. Calendar, I really don’t think this is the time -”

Jenny cuts her off, “It should give Angel his soul back.”

Most of the room’s eyes widen, Buffy is shocked, “ _ What? _ ”

Jenny elaborates, “It’s called the ritual of restoration, it can give Angel his soul back, he’ll still be cursed like before, but he won’t be evil anymore and he’ll know how to keep his soul.”

Buffy laughs, “So, what? You’ve just had this in your back pocket and were waiting for the most dramatic time to tell us about it? Is that it?”

Giles sighs, “Buffy…”

Jenny doesn’t need his defense. “No, the text I had was in Romanian but the ritual requires dual dialects for it to be cast. The translation took some time and then figuring out the ingredients took longer, I’m not even certain in the translation now. But the stranger was going to help me look over it, it’s why she was there when Angel came to the school. It’s why I’m not…” Realization dawns on her, “It’s why I’m not dead.”

Willow saved her life, Willow is the reason she isn’t dead right now. Willow kept interacting with her like she didn’t know her that well. Willow, despite being a fully grown adult, was still habitually calling her Ms. Calendar. Willow must be from a future where she died early tonight.

Buffy is subdued by this. “Oh, sorry.”

Jenny laughs softly, trying not to have a crisis. “It’s okay, it was pretty much warranted.”

Willow interrupts, “Um, sorry, but how am I supposed to help with this? I mean, I can barely do any magic.”

Jenny nods. “This ritual is fairly simple, but the set-up is kind of complicated. I’ll need you for the actual ritual, but this way you can set it up while we go get the stranger and then we can do it once everyone is back here.”

Willow looks unsure. “Okay, if it’ll help.”

Buffy claps, “Great, so Willow is staying here to work on the ritual, Cordy is my double for the night…”

Cordelia cuts in to say, “I just want you all to think about the bravery I’m executing if I’m willing to walk around with hair like  _ that _ .”

Xander places his hands on her shoulders. “Probably not our biggest focus right now, babe.”

Cordelia rolls her eyes at him affectionately as Buffy continues, “ _ Anyway _ , Oz and Xander will back you up, I’ll go after Drusilla, and you three,” She points at Jenny, Giles, and Tara, “Will get the stranger out.”

Oz steps forward. “Definitely a fan of the plan, but maybe Willow shouldn’t be alone. I mean, unfortunately, vampires aren't the only threat.”

Tara agrees, “You’re right, I can cast a protection spell over the library, that way Cordelia can still have two of you backing her up and Willow will be safe.”

Oz smiles at Tara. Willow smiles at Oz’s protectiveness. Jenny really wishes she could read minds because this seems like a very interesting interaction from Tara’s point of view. 

Buffy speaks again, “Okay, so are we good to go?”

*

Willow really isn’t a fan of being tortured, she’s coming out firmly against it. In her personal opinion, torture is bad and unless Angelus plans to kill her sometime soon, she would prefer it stops. Overall, she would prefer to not be tortured  _ or _ dead, but one of those options is certainly looking more and more preferable by the minute. 

She doesn’t remember when Drusilla left and she doesn’t remember when Angelus started hitting her, she just knows it hurts. Between her exhaustion and the heat that won’t let her rest and the pain and the blood that makes everything on her body feel sticky, she doesn’t know if she’s going to make it out of here. So, even though it isn’t her, she’d prefer to see Tara’s face right now. What concerns her is that she thinks Drusilla’s illusion might be getting stronger, because every so often she feels the familiar warmth that comes with Tara’s magic. 

This warmth is good and nice and it smells like the flower’s Tara had worn in her hair the day they got married. It’s not like the heat she feels as Angelus trails his nails now her arms, digging in to make her bleed. It’s not like the heat she feels around her wrists, chafing every time she tries to get her hands out so she can cast a spell, but someone, probably Drusilla has done something to the rope so she can’t cast without getting it off.

She just wants to be home. She wants to lay on the couch and listen to Tara talk about her day and the kids from her school and she wants Tara to run her fingers through her hair like she always does when she is sick or hurt or sad. She wants Jenny to be alive and she wants Giles to be happy but she doesn’t want to hurt here anymore, she doesn’t want to leave Tara. She doesn’t want to miss seeing her slayer finally complete her training. She doesn’t want to miss Xander’s daughter being born or Buffy finally realizing she can be happy or Dawn finally dating a girl who isn’t an asshole. She doesn’t want to miss any of it. But she is  _ so  _ tired, and she’s warm and it almost feels like her wife is here, so maybe she can sleep, just for a little while.

And she does, while Angelus keeps cutting her and hitting her, she passes out.

*

In her bug, because she’ll only ever get in Giles’ “car” if it’s an emergency, Jenny watches the small orb of light lead them to the factory where Angel has Willow. It’s just her, Giles and Tara in the car. The kids had all gotten into Cordelia’s car, they figured it would be easier to transport ‘the stranger’ that way if she is hurt when they find her. Jenny isn’t someone who really cares about speeding, especially in Sunnydale in the early hours of the morning, but Giles clearly is as he coughs every time her speedometer ticks over the speed limit. She makes eye contact with Tara every time it happens and Tara just laughs. Jenny can tell she’s worried, but she seems calm in her certainty that everyone will be okay and that they’ll get to Willow.

So, she decides she’ll be calm, too. It doesn’t matter that she’s read what Angelus does to the people he wants information from. It doesn’t matter that when she gets back to the school she’ll have to do a ritual she’s not 100% confident in. Everyone will be okay. Willow will be alive. Angel will get his soul back. Everything will be fine. That is, if Giles doesn’t kill her with his awkwardness.

He clears his throat from next to Jenny and turns slightly to face where Tara sits in the back of the car. “So, you’re Willow’s wife?”

Tara smiles at him, though her eyebrows are raised. Jenny rolls her eyes at him. “Yeah, like I said the last time you asked, I’m Willow’s wife.”

Giles shakes his head, “Oh, no, sorry, that’s not. This isn’t a question of Willow’s romantic interests, I mean are you and Willow  _ legally _ married in your time?”

Tara’s eyes widen with clarity. Jenny figures that line of questioning makes a lot more sense considering what she knows of Giles and a certain chaos-monger who likes to pop into town every once in a while. Tara smiles at him, softer than before, “Yeah, legally. That’s definitely a newer part of our marriage, but the government finally decided,  _ hey maybe you homosexuals should be allowed to get married and have marriage rights _ .”

Giles smiles and Tara continues, “Most countries allow it now, all those legal marriage things like joint adoption or visitation rights.  _ England _ , for example.”

Jenny catches the way that Tara looks at Giles through the rear-view mirror and she figures Tara is probably also aware of Ethan and his penchant to give the trope of ‘crazy ex’ some validity. Jenny smiles too, she has always cared less about any actual marriage as a prospective part of her future than the actual commitment to a relationship. Though she is pretty focused on the man sitting next to her, the knowledge that if it doesn’t work out and someday she wants to marry a woman she can, is very nice to have.

Giles turns more serious, “Willow, she’s powerful.”

Jenny notes how he sounds a little proud but how he mostly looks worried. Tara catches it, too. “Yeah, she’s pretty much the most powerful witch in our time.”

Jenny watches as Tara’s eyebrows twitch as she continues, “She, um, she has some of the essence of the earth’s magic, it makes her more volatile when she uses darker magics, but it also makes her pretty much invincible when she uses light magic. It’s pretty useful in the whole fight against evil.”

Giles' eyes are nearly out of his head and Jenny would laugh at the face he is making if it wasn’t a serious conversation. “How the hell did she get access to the essence of magic?”

Tara’s face is hard. “I don’t w-want to keep telling you stuff about a future that might be pretty similar, but basically she makes some bad decisions in response to some terrible events and someone decides that the only way to get her to stop her suicidal mission is to basically dose her with magic.”

Jenny decides lightening the mood will be better than whatever Rupert’s next question is. “Sounds fun!”

Tara smiles a little at Jenny, “Absolutely peachy.”

Jenny goes back to paying exclusive attention to the road as the blue light ahead of her continues before it abruptly stops. Slowly she pulls onto the side of the road and from behind her, she hears Cordelia also pull over. By the time she gets out of the car, the kids are all standing ready, weapons prepared. She stares at the matching Buffy and Cordelia for a moment, when Tara gets out of the car Jenny turns to her. “You did a scarily good job.”

Tara blushes at the compliment and Cordelia who looks like Buffy groans, “Whatever, can we please get this over with so I can change out of this outfit, I mean, Buffy do you even own a mirror?”

“Or maybe we get this over with so that we can get Angel his soul back?” Jenny adds.

Cordelia shifts her weight. “Well, obviously, that too.”

Jenny shakes her head fondly at Cordelia as Buffy grabs her crossbow from the car. “Okay, are we ready?

On everyone’s nods, Buffy instructs them where to go. Cordelia, Oz, and Xander are to head to the alley behind the factory that lets out into a road so that if they have to run, they’re able to. Buffy is going to sneak in through a window and once Buffy confirms it’s safe, Giles, Jenny, and Tara will go in and get ‘the stranger’. Jenny takes a deep breath as she watches the kids walk off towards their respective risks with the knowledge that her job for the next however many minutes is to sit by and wait to help them. She doesn’t like it, and based on their faces, neither to Giles or Tara, but it’s what they agreed to do. So, they watch as four teenagers sneak into a lion's den, and wait until they’re determined to be needed.

*

Willow can’t remember the last time she’s felt like this, if she ever has. She fell asleep but she doesn’t know for how long, she just knows when she woke up, Drusilla was back with her wife’s face and the magic felt stronger even though it’s not actually Tara’s and Angelus wasn’t in the room anymore. Instead it’s Spike over Drusilla’s shoulder, she watches him watch her for a moment, when she sees no confusion on his face as he looks at her, she realizes that there’s no longer a glamour working on him and she wonders which new wounds are from his hands. 

She’s tired but she doesn’t want to fall asleep again, it just made it worse when she woke up and her dreams were just dreams. She tries to focus on the warmth of not-Tara’s magic to keep her awake, but she falls asleep again.

Her eyes are bleary and blurred when she wakes up again and she sees a girl holding something against Drusilla who actually looks like Drusilla as Spike snarls at her. Willow keeps blinking until she can tell that the girl is Buffy and the thing she’s holding is a stake. It’s probably not a great sign for a similar timeline to her own if Buffy ends up staking Drusilla right now, but Willow could really care less as long as Drusilla stays the hell away from her now. What worries her is the way that Spike doesn’t seem to be listening to any of the deals Buffy is trying to make right now, and she knows Buffy at this age is strong and brave, but she’s still a relatively new slayer and she might not win in a one on one fight against Spike if Drusilla is the reason for it.

So, she’s trying not to panic, scared that she might have messed up this timeline beyond comprehension if she ends up getting Buffy killed, but she’s really not great at not panicking. 

* 

Still outside, Jenny is pacing while Giles and Tara sit on the car and the curb respectively. Suddenly, Tara bolts up. “I’m going inside.”

Eyebrows furrowed, Giles grabs her arm. “Buffy hasn’t summoned us yet, we can’t put her at risk.”

Tara shakes her head, “She’s already at risk and  _ we _ aren’t doing anything. I’ll go in and help her because it’s been too long and then you two can come in and we can all leave.”

Jenny speaks softly, “I understand that you’re worried, but we don’t know what’s going on in there and we might mess up any progress Buffy has made.”

Tara sighs, “I know that Willow is panicking right now and that she’s hurt enough that I can feel where some of her injuries are from this far away. I’m going in and I’ll help Buffy and then I’m going to help my wife. I’m not going to wait anymore.”

And she doesn’t, she walks into the factory and hears none of Giles or Jenny’s pleas not to. When she walks into the dim light of the factory, she’s glad she came, because Willow is tied to a chair watching with wide eyes as Spike snarls at a shaking Buffy holding a stake to Drusilla’s chest. Calling forward her magic to form a ball of energy in her palm, she calls out, “Hey, Spike, why don’t you take a walk with Drusilla?”

Spike turns to her, his vampface in full force and tilts his head. “Sorry, blondie, am I supposed to give a shit about who the hell you are?”

Tara smirks at him. “No, but you might care about the fact that I can kill you and your girlfriend in a second.”

Spike smirks back. “Oh, really?”

To prove her point, Tara focuses on the ball of energy in her hand and feels it turn to sunlight, pointing it in front of her, she watches both Buffy and Willow squint as the light fills the room, Spike and Drusilla both hiss and Drusilla punches Buffy and escapes her arms before they both go running out of the factory.

*

Willow would say she knows her wife pretty well and though she is exhausted, she knows without a doubt that it actually is her wife standing before her now. Despite how unlikely it is, her magic is the same and she’s wearing her rings and there’s a line between her eyebrows like there always is when she’s trying to be brave. Drusilla had missed all those things in her farce to try and make her speak. 

Tara looks at Buffy and asks, “Can you go check on the others, make sure Angelus hasn’t caught up to them?

Buffy nods to the stranger. “You’ve got her?”

Tara smiles. “Yeah, I’ve got her.”

Buffy leaves, calling out to Giles and Jenny as she goes. And then Tara walks towards Willow, smiling even though the way that blood is covering nearly every part of her body is not a comforting view. “You know, I’m pretty sure when we agreed on you time travelling, you not getting hurt was one of the biggest rules the Council decided on.”

Willow giddy at the sight of her wife and the knowledge that Angelus won’t hurt her again tonight, scoffs, “I’m fine.”

Her words, though clearly not completely accurate, are undercut by the way she gasps and shrinks away from Tara’s touch as she unties the ropes holding her hands behind the chair. Tara soothes her, placing her hand softly over the rope burns, focusing her energy on healing them, and she does as the wounds on her body all close, though the scars and bruises remain visible. “You’re okay, darling.”

Tara presses a kiss to her temple and Willow sighs and nearly collapses into the touch. She’s jolted back by Jenny and Giles bursting through the doors that Spike and Drusilla had exited through moments before. Jenny looks at Willow’s bloody and exhausted state and winces, “Jesus, Willow, I’m so sorry…”

But Jenny is cut off by Willow’s squeak as she looks rapidly to Giles who seems discomforted by Willow’s state but otherwise unfazed. Tara follows Willow’s eyes, “Oh, he knows who you are.”

Willow tries to turn to Tara but groans as her body rejects the idea, “You’ve been here a couple hours and Giles knows?”

Tara raises an eyebrow, “We can have a conversation about your hypocrisy when you’re no longer bloody and injured in a factory, but right now we’ve gotta go.”

Tara tries to help her out but between not being that strong and also having used an abnormal amount of magic in the past few hours, she struggles. Giles steps forward to pick-up Willow, smiling at Tara he says, “I’ve got her.”

Willow laughs from in Giles’ arms, “Y’know Giles maybe if you spent more time literally picking women up and less time holding grudges about things that are just misunderstandings, you’d have more success in the dating realm.”

Willow pulls no punches when she turns her head to face Jenny’s, “Right, Jenny?”

Tara and Jenny both laugh at the look on Giles’ face. Tara speaks, “Will, this isn’t the Giles from our time, maybe be a little more subtle.”

Willow laughs softly, a few coughs interlacing through. “I’m not subtle. Plus I feel like I’m gonna pass out, so, line of thought right now isn’t super great.”

Tara smiles at her and the four of them reach the car to find that Cordelia’s car is gone. When Tara looks worried, Jenny lets her know why the car is gone. “When Buffy came out we let her know they should head back to the library if she caught up to the others.”

Tara sighs, relieved. “Okay, that's good.”

And they get in the car and it takes approximately two minutes for the two witches occupying the back of her car to fall asleep, Tara’s hand halfway through Willow’s hair as she sleeps against her shoulder. Jenny recognizes she’s a softy and is definitely more of a softy when it includes the kids that inhabit Giles’ library, but she definitely does not tear up at how relaxed they both look after she’s interacted with both of them over the past few days. She wouldn’t have realized they were stressed until she sees them now, looking like they’ve both had huge weights lifted off their shoulders. Giles notices and shakes his head at her, though he also looks touched by the sight of them.

But Giles also looks concerned, clearly talking about Willow, speaks quietly, “She looks so much like a watcher. And I guess she might be but…”

Jenny finishes for him, “That’s not a good thing.”

He shakes his head, “She was just tortured for  _ hours _ and she’s acting like it’s just another day.”

Jenny offers him a joyless smile, “She’s a grown-up now.”

Giles shakes his head again and the both of them sit in silence, only the low hum of the car and Willow’s occasionally wheezing breaths filling it.

*

In the library Willow has prepared the circle and the candles are lit and the ingredients are laid out on the main table in the center of the room. Jenny really isn’t happy that young Willow is the one that has to do this but she’s already agreed and is unknowingly being told about how to do the ritual by her older self. Xander and Cordelia have gone home, Cordelia a little too freaked about being chased by Angel to stay, Xander follows so she doesn’t have to be alone. 

Buffy stays because she needs to know if it works as soon as possible, Oz stays because Willow has to. Jenny has just gone through the translation for a final time with Tara after Willow from the future read it several times to make sure it was right. Tara was the one who pointed to the freaking out younger Willow and asked her wife to comfort her. 

Jenny watches the way Tara gazes at Willow across the room and is so, so happy that Willow has someone who loves her the way Tara clearly does. But there’s something else that has been on her mind since Angelus took Willow, she clears her throat and Tara looks to her. Jenny looks down, “Where you’re from, in your time, I’m not alive, am I?”

Tara smiles somberly, “You already know the answer to that.”

Jenny nods, “So there’s no demon you guys need help with, no slayer in danger? She just came back to save me.”

Tara sighs, “Is that the excuse she came up with? But, no. No slayer in danger, no demon. But saving you isn’t a  _ just _ .”

Jenny shakes her head, “You don’t even know me.”

Tara nods, “I know Giles. I know Willow. I know the pieces of you that live in them.”

Jenny wipes away the tears building in her eyes. “How… I mean,  _ when _ . What happened?”

Tara shrinks into herself. “Listen, Jenny. I get that this is shocking and probably very scary for you, but hearing about how you died isn’t going to help you, trust me.”

Jenny wraps her arms around herself. “It was Angel, right? He killed me?”

Tara tilts her head and nods. “Yeah, it was Angel, but luckily for you we’re taking care of that problem as we speak.”

Tara knows that the problem of Jenny’s death being taken care of doesn’t take away how scary it is to realize that at some point you died. She remembers first hand, waking up to Buffy’s teary and smiling face and being scared because her last memory was Willow’s, terrified and bloody. It had been a long road, realizing how people changed when she was gone. But the hardest part was that she was  _ dead _ , she’d died. She was  _ twenty-one _ and she died, her life would’ve ended. She knows Jenny is older that she was, but she’s still young. Her and Willow have to go back to their time soon but she can’t help but feel guilty that they gave her this grief over a life that she could’ve lost. 

She just hopes Jenny will be okay. 

Interrupting her thoughts, Tara hears a door click. Giles emerges from his office, standing straighter with his glamour fully lifted just as Willow from the future calls out, “You guys, I think we’re ready.”

Tara and Willow both stand on the sidelines watching, along with Buffy, Oz, and Giles, as Willow and Jenny do the spell. Willow cringes as she watches her younger self overtaken with magic but feels a new relief at the way Jenny grabs her hand and the energy spreads between the two of them. This Willow won’t learn magic through sneaking books out of the library, though she’s certain even that will happen sometimes in this world. Tara watches the familiar white light of Angel’s soul shoot out into the ether to find him. She can feel it when it reaches him and by the feeling of her hand squeezing hers, Willow does too.

Younger Willow gasps when she comes back and Jenny looks around. Tentatively, Buffy steps forward. “Can you tell if it…”

Tara answers her unfinished question, “It worked.”

Buffy looks conflicted for a moment, and then she says, “I have to go.”

From where he has wrapped his arm around Willow, Oz offers, “We can drive you.”

Excitedly, though Tara sees the fear, Buffy accepts the offer and the three of them leave. 

Willow knows they have to go now. That she’s saved Jenny and Angelus isn’t around so she won’t be killed and Tara’s here so who is going to feed Trixie if they don’t go back. But she doesn’t want to. 

She loves her life. Loves her wife. Loves the family that she’s built out of slayers and demons and watchers. But there’s a technopagan missing. She knows that Jenny is part of her and Giles and even Oz and Buffy and Xander. But it’s not enough, not when she got to be here and talk to her about things that weren’t just demons or class projects or how she’s sorry that Buffy is so angry. Not when Jenny met Tara and knew she was her wife and hasn’t said anything about it except to tease her about how they were both obvious. Not when she gets to see Giles smile full and happy and without any darkness when he looks at Jenny.

She doesn’t want to leave, but she has to. Tara catches the way Willow’s eyes flick around the room quickly, how they always do when she’s trying not to cry and she squeezes Willow’s hand and they turn to Giles and Jenny. “I think it’s time we stop messing with your timeline.”

Giles and Jenny both offer soft laughs. Giles goes to shake Tara’s hand and Tara quirks an eyebrow, “I’m married to one of your kids and you think I’m just going to take a handshake?”

Jenny laughs victoriously and Giles turns to her, “They are not my kids.”

Willow corrects him, “We’re your kids Giles, we wouldn’t disappoint you so much if we weren’t”

But she says it with a smile on her face and Giles relents. He offers Tara a hug, “It was nice to meet you, though I suppose I’ll meet you again.”

Tara smiles at him, “I hope so.”

Giles starts to ask her a few last minute future questions as Jenny pulls Willow into a hug as well. Quiet enough so that Giles doesn’t catch it, she whispers. “Thanks for saving my life.”

Willow laughs awkwardly, “Oh, so you caught that.”

Jenny shakes her head, “You say that like you’re good at keeping secrets.”

Willow rolls her eyes teasingly, “Glass houses,  _ Janna _ .”

Jenny has hated being called Janna since she was fifteen and it stopped being her name and started being a reminder of all the ways she was a failure. On the end of the sentence of someone who has proven that she isn’t someone that can just be thrown away, it’s not so bad.

Jenny turns serious, still quiet, “I’m sorry about your, uh, I’m sorry that I’m dead when you’re from.”

Willow shakes her head and offers a joyless smile. “Definitely not something to be sorry about, but me too. I’m glad you get to stick around here.”

Jenny smiles, “Me too.”

And they both turn back to their respective loved ones. Tara notices the tears forming in Willow’s eyes as she blinks them away and offers her a soft smile. Giles smiles at the Willow in front of him now, “I must say it’s quite odd seeing you as an adult, though you’re clearly… I’m proud of you is what I’m trying to say.”

Willow smiles at him, her tongue poking between her teeth. “Well, thanks. But that’s a little premature, you still have to deal with this Willow for at least fifteen years before she’ll be able to time travel.”

Giles smiles at her, “I’m sure it’ll be worth it.”

Willow blushes but tries to play it off. Jenny smiles at Tara. “It was nice meeting you.”

Tara smiles, “You -” She catches herself. “Thanks.”

Jenny nods, “Look after her.”

Willow huffs, though anyone could see the affection in it and Tara bumps her shoulder against hers. “Always.”

Giles and Jenny both take a step back as the two women link hands. They watch as blue and green light spreads from their hands until it covers them entirely and then they’re gone. And Jenny feels more about the loss than she thought she would. 

Giles shifts next to her and she feels him moving away but she grabs his hand. All the kids are gone, from the future or not, and Jenny is hit with how long of a week it’s been. Having kept him next to her with a pull of her hand, Jenny turns to him, solemn. “I don’t want to die anytime soon, but with our lives that could happen. So, if it does, I don’t want you to not know what you mean to me. And I don’t want to die with us in this limbo where we both care about each other but we’re not together.”

She takes a deep breath. “I’m in love with you, and I think you already knew that but it’s worth saying. If you are still mad at me, that’s okay, I understand it completely, and you’re allowed to stay mad. But I want you to know that I love you, and I’m sorry that I didn’t tell you about Angel or Willow. So, if you’re angry, you can stay angry, but I’ll still be in love with you, and I’ll still be here if you decide to forgive me.”

Jenny watches Rupert’s forehead crease as he stares at the ground, nodding. When he looks up his eyes are soft and understanding and he takes a step towards her. Smiling at her, he says, “I love you, too.”

  
He kisses her soft and sweet, like a promise that he’ll do it again and again. She knows there’s more they need to talk about but Jenny smiles through it, relieved that finally, after restoration rituals and time travelling students and secret keeping, she gets to be here and happy and  _ alive _ .


	6. jenny calendar and tara maclay are alive

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> epilogue babey,,,,, this is mostly in a different style than the rest because I'm gay and I want it to be but also does part of this fic work as the set up for a different fic? we might never know

April 1st, 2020. (in a world we know) 

Tara and Willow get back to their world and Willow sees her familiar couch and the pictures on the wall and she sees Jenny in one of the only ones left from her high school years and Jenny is still dead and Willow knew that, she  _ knew that.  _ That was the price, she got to go back and save Jenny, but not for any world Willow would get to see her in. It’s always been a part of the deal but as soon as it registers, the tears still in her eyes from saying goodbye turn into sobs and she breaks down crying. Mostly for the woman who doesn’t get to know this universe and for the Giles here who doesn’t get to be happy here, not like she knows he will be there. But it is also a little bit for herself who had to spend years wondering if there’s any adult who would ever choose her over a job or a conference or a slayer. 

Jenny would’ve cared and Willow knows that because she did, all she had done was suggest she do the ritual and Jenny wasn’t going to let her because it put her in danger. But Jenny is still dead here, so it doesn’t matter. So, she cries. She cries for what seems like hours while Tara holds her and she tries not to pretend that this isn’t about what happened with Angelus too. Like there wasn’t fear about the fact that she might not make it back here to the life that she loves, even if some of the people she loves are missing. Angel is someone she knows and cares about but just the idea of interacting with him is not something she looks forward to in any capacity, even if it wasn’t this Angel. 

That’ll definitely be something to bring up with her therapist. Eventually she stops crying and decides to focus on the good, especially when the bad hurts so much. Voice still shaky from crying, she looks up from where her head is on Tara’s shoulder. “I’m so glad you got to meet her.”

Tara smiles, tears marring her face as well. “She’s a pretty great person. I get why you care about her so much.”

Willow shifts to teasing as she becomes uncomfortable with being so emotional. “Well, since you’ve officially gotten Jenny’s seal of approval, I can confidently say you’re the best wife ever.”

Tara blushes. “I don't know about that, I’ve got some pretty stiff competition.”

Willow smiles, “Well, I haven’t exactly followed my wife through time to save her.”

Tara jokingly looks shocked. “Oh, you thought I was talking about you? That’s awkward…”

Willow shoves Tara’s shoulder lightly, “Rude.”

Tara keeps teasing, “I don’t know, Xander has been talking about Renee a lot lately.”

Shaking her head, Willow laughs. As they both sit in silence, she kisses Tara like she wanted to the entire time they were there, but there hadn’t really been time. Plus, they’ve never been ones for copious PDA. Willow smiles into the kiss and Tara does too, they both pull away laughing when their teeth collide.

Tara pushes a few strands of Willow’s hair behind her ears as she pulls away. “I missed you.”

Willow just hums, content to be in Tara’s arms after a long week of being in a familiar unfamiliar. 

Tara smiles at her with playful eyes and says, “Interesting observation I made while we were there.”

Willow tilts her head and Tara continues, “Jenny kind of looks like Kennedy, had you noticed that?”

At Willow’s blush, Tara gets her answer. She laughs softly and kisses Willow, “I love you, even though you’re kind of a dork.”

Willow smiles at her and though her eyes are still wet, she’s clearly happy. “I love you, too, even though you’re definitely going to tell Kennedy about that and I will have to live in shame for the rest of my life.”

Tara snorts at Willow’s dramatics, “Come on, we’ve got to update the council and I doubt they’d take well to you being covered in blood.”

  
  


April 1st, 2020. (in a world we don’t know) 

The day that Willow brings Tara to her first Scooby meeting, most of the Scoobies, aside from Anya, Faith, and Riley, tilt their heads at the familiar blonde. Jenny is trying not to freak out because she had been pretty ready to start physically fighting a 19 year old werewolf when she found out that Oz cheated on her and left. But in the back of her head, Jenny had thought, well maybe this will get her Tara. Which isn’t to say Jenny doesn’t love and care about Oz, she does, but her knowledge that he doesn't end up with Willow has definitely tainted her view of him. 

Jenny admittedly has her favourites in the Scooby group, which she is allowed to do since she isn’t actually their mother. She’s just joking, though she does have Scoobies she would start a war for, Willow and Faith both being at the top of that list. Anya and Tara will be added to that list one day, but today Anya is still recently evil and Tara is a shy, albeit sweet, stranger. So, Jenny is excited during that meeting and Giles catches her eyes a few times when Willow is doing something that is obviously a ‘I want to impress my girlfriend’ thing.

Jenny loves seeing Willow grow up into the one she got to meet and she wonders if there will ever be a time when she should say, “Hey, remember that time there was a stranger and a Tara from the future? The stranger was you.” But she doesn’t want to put that pressure on her, so she keeps it to herself and makes Giles agree, too. Jenny likes when she can see pieces of the woman brave enough to travel through time start to appear. The first time she can really see her is during those harrowing days before Buffy died when Tara didn’t have her mind and Buffy was teetering on the edge of giving up and Willow felt like everything was on her shoulders and she still finds a way to get Tara back.

When Buffy dies, Jenny is so focused on Giles and his grieving, as she should, he’s her fiance and the man she loved. But it means neither of them notice when Willow starts to get secretive and when Tara starts to get quiet again and Anya and Xander are anxious about  _ something _ all the time and Faith and Willow keep fighting about  _ something _ . The two of them clue in when Buffy is alive again.

There are times when Jenny worries her life might have irrevocably messed up Willow and Tara’s. Like the night when Willow is trying to do a spell to erase Buffy and Tara’s memories and instead erases all of theirs. Jenny wonders about the other Willow and Tara and whether that Willow made this many mistakes. Though Jenny hesitates to call them mistakes because this Willow isn’t making mistakes, she's making choices that she thinks are the right ones. Jenny wonders how long this has been brewing under her and Giles’ noses. She wonders if the other Giles caught Willow needing to control everything before they did. Distracted by their wedding and the Magic Box and other things that seemed more important until suddenly Tara moved out of her and Willow’s apartment. 

Jenny doesn’t know if she will ever forgive Willow for what she did to Tara, but based on the way that Faith yells at Willow every chance she gets, she figures she doesn’t need to make that known. But she gets to see Willow make it up and she starts to see pieces of the Willow she knew when she was younger as well as seeing more of the Willow from the future. It’s a weird feeling, being so proud of her when she is so mad at her, but it’s just another thing she adds to her list of ways Willow is a lot like Giles. Jenny starts to forgive Willow when Tara does, she figures Tara gets to determine whether what Willow did is forgivable. Jenny gets a call from Dawn who is squealing about how Willow and Tara are back together again. She finds herself unequivocally happy, thinking that it’s probably clearskies for them from here. As clear as life gets on a Hellmouth, anyway.

And then Tara dies. And Willow goes dark and Faith helps her. Jenny understands it, if something as stupid as a stray bullet took Giles away from her, she doesn’t know if she would stop after one either. But she won’t lose her kids to their grief about their girlfriend and best friend. When Buffy tells her and Giles that they aren’t stopping with Warren, that Faith is getting Andrew and Jonathan for Willow and Willow is after Rack, Jenny is reminded of a conversation she had with Tara.

The Tara who had come from the future, and she tells Giles. “The essence of magic, we need to dose her.” 

Giles remembers and he fights Willow and Jenny gets the grief but she’ll throw down with anyone who beats up Giles, even if they’re basically her daughters. Faith comes to after Jenny cuts in, but Willow is too deep and now, the magic is too strong. Willow tries to end the world and it’s Jenny’s fault since she’s the reason the magic is so strong and Xander gets knocked out trying to stop her and the only person who is as pissed that Tara isn’t in the world anymore stops her. Faith and Willow become pretty inseparable after that, Faith going with Willow and Giles when they decide to head to England so Willow can learn how to use her magic. 

Jenny hates how it happened, but is glad that the two of them are finally good friends after years of caring about the same people and things. Willow eventually comes back, a few weeks after Giles and Faith do. Shockingly, there’s another apocalypse brewing and the First likes to use Tara’s likeness a lot, which sucks until it mentions the future Tara being that Willow’s wife and Willow who knows that Jenny knew who the stranger was becomes angry at Jenny. 

Jenny gets it, but she explains what happened anyway. Why she hadn’t told her. She explains that Willow came back to save her and somehow that ended up with her not having the wife she was supposed to. Willow gets angry until it turns to sadness and Jenny keeps apologizing but Willow gets mad at that too. Fuming, she yells at Jenny to stop apologizing, that having to choose between two women that she loves is stupid and that the universe isn’t fair and that she hates that she has to live in a supernatural world where everyone she loves will probably die. Jenny wonders how long she’s been holding that in.

But they both grow from there, Jenny stops keeping secrets and tells Willow everything she can remember about the Tara and Willow she got to know for a few days. Jenny watches as Willow moves on and she’s happy for her and Giles and Faith both make jokes about how much her new girlfriend looks like Jenny and Dawn and Buffy are critical of her and Anya and Xander both interrogate Kennedy about her intentions with Willow and it starts to feel like a family again. Apocalypse or not, Jenny is glad that between resurrections and weddings and dead friends they still get to be happy in the moments that aren’t filled with the supernatural.

She’s glad Willow gets to be happy, even if it isn’t how she’s thought she would end up happy. 

At least, she is until the night Buffy disappears for a few hours and comes back with a familiar blonde in tow. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you've read this far, thank you so much !!! I really hope you enjoyed it !!


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